Payment for the Pain
by Ferryman
Summary: Teyla moves quickly, quietly - This is a look into her past to see how she paid for that skill. Slight Angst from all characters. When Shep n Ronon get lost on a quest, McKay and Teyla have to save them and complete the course in time or leave withoutthem
1. Chapter 1

**Knew I forgot something. Meant to say thank-you to Jayne Perry for looking the story over before posting and that this story was a challenge from fellow squirrel BarcardiCider. Criteria as follows: **_A Story based around Teyla - she may team up with only one of the team Rodney, Ronon or Sheppard. The other two members are lost and she and ? are trying to find them. Must be a trip through the stargate, must have a market place scene, Must be at least one Bantos stick fight and some whumpage to any character of your choice._**  
**

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 1;**

Teyla and Rodney walked through the forest. Teyla slightly in front, her body ready for action and the P90 held ready to use. Rodney was to her side, slightly behind with his hand gun held tightly in his hand pointed towards the ground. His head spun round, trying to take in everything at once while Teyla's head spun slowly as they progressed through the trees. She was taking in every detail and every sound that was not made by Rodney, her footsteps falling quietly on the forest floor.

"I'm thinking I should leave the team," Rodney said quietly making a point of looking every where but at Teyla, "You know, when we get back to Atlantis with Sheppard and Ronon. I think I'm a danger to the team." His arms waving aimlessly, the handgun forgotten as it travelled through the air still gripped in his hand.

She subconsciously avoided the barrel without a thought. Teyla knew he blamed himself and in her heart of hearts she knew he was right. He _was _to blame for Sheppard and Ronon's current predicament but that still did not mean that he had to leave the team.

She wanted to keep moving, knowing every minute may make the difference but she also knew Rodney and she knew that if this was not addressed now it would fester and become something more and harder to remove. She came to a halt and turned to him, cocking her head slightly to one side.

"We all make mistakes, Rodney," She replied in her quite tones, compassion bleeding into the words as she placed a hand on his forearm bringing it back down and steadying it. He glanced at her hand and flinched as he saw the gun beyond it suddenly remembering it was there and pointed it towards the ground. He glanced up at her and then back down to the gun as he brought his other hand over to rub up and down the barrel with nervous energy. Inwardly she sighed but did not remove his hand from the barrel.

"You don't," Rodney mumbled harshly, words twisted in bitterness. Teyla knew better than to react to the harshness surrounding the sounds and instead listened to the words and the speed and turn of the vowels. She knew the bitterness was directed at himself and not at her.

"I have made mistakes, Rodney," Teyla said slowly. Unbidden and expected the broken memories rushed to the surface, all the colours and sounds resounding and rebounding behind her eyes. She resumed walking, trying to distract herself from the thoughts – pushing them back down into the dark places of her soul. She was more disciplined now and it was easily done, although the sounds took longer and mixed faintly with the sounds around her. It made her jumpy and she settled herself, breathing regularly until only the natural sounds of the forest remained.

"Yeah, right… even if you did, which I very much doubt, I'll bet your mistakes didn't kill people you care about," he retorted. "I always seem to end up hurting someone," he almost whispered as he followed her. Huffing deeply as his shoulders slumped. She heard him swallow hard and could see his mouth falling into that sharp line without having to look at him.

"Yes, they did," she replied, her voice quiet. Part of her still looking inwardly as her own words registered in her mind, instantly she regretted them. She knew Rodney needed to hear them though, to know it was a mistake anybody could make but it was giving too much of herself.

She knew where the conversation would go now, where Rodney would need it to go and she could feel the apprehension starting to rise within her. She started to feel the movement of time heavy around her, knowing every second was now just a movement nearer the inevitable. Her deepest scar would finally speak after over twenty years, forced by Rodney's insatiable curiosity.

"Really?" Rodney turned sharply to her, shock evident in his voice. She nodded, unwilling now to use words and not wanting to look at him for fear he would see the pain in her eyes, the burden that she carried everywhere.

As they continued to walk through the trees she could sense him glancing at her again and again.

"Are we still heading in the right direction, Rodney?" She would face down a wraith without a second thought but if there was a chance she could avoid this, or even just delay this, she would and she would use any distraction she could until the time came.

"Errrm," Rodney paused while he dug a hand into his military tac vest to pull out the Life Signs Detector. Head down he studied the ancient technology. "Yeah," he glanced up and indicated straight ahead of them, seemingly unaware again of the gun held in his hand as he waived it. "That way." He pushed the device back into his vest and shuffled his pack back on his shoulders to sit more comfortably, gun still in his hand. "They should…they _are_ at the base of the mountain."

She wanted to admonish him but knew he was in too fragile a state to take it well. He was lucky he didn't blow his own brains out. Teyla continued walking and Rodney soon fell into step beside her.

"Why do you think they won't answer?" Rodney asked quietly, again rubbing his hand up and down the barrel.

She glanced down at his hands and as he followed her gaze he stopped, clearing his throat. "As you said, Rodney, it could be ore in the rock. They may have lost their radios. You know many reasons we have not been able to use our radios in the past."

"Yeah, but mostly the reason is because we are injured or have guns pointed at us. I mean they could be lying somewhere trapped and unable to reach for radios or even unconscious or… or…"

"Rodney," she interrupted.

His neck twitched as his shoulders shrugged. The unvoiced, _I can't help myself._ She nodded and stated plainly, stressing the words, "we don't know the reason yet so we have to move quietly, we have to move fast. Let's go, Rodney." She watched him quietly and patiently, not showing how her own words had affected her, twisted something deep inside.

He looked at her, guilt and fear passing over his open face to be replaced by resolve and nodded. He raised his gun slightly to point away at an angle, bringing his other hand around to hold it steady and true as he moved forward. He still sounded like an elephant to her ears but for Rodney it was a marked improvement. She smiled indulgently, fondly at his back as she raised the P90 to a ready position and continued to monitor their surroundings as she followed him.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Payment For The Pain**

**Chapter 2;**

Sheppard rose out of the darkness, slowly coming back to the world. As he started to become aware, the pain started to spread throughout his body. He hurt all over, trying to do triage on his own body but unable to pinpoint the worst of it. The same level of throbbing, biting pain seemed to cover every inch of skin. The pain was coming from nowhere and everywhere, so extreme it was almost numbing.

He fought against himself, against the overwhelming urge to just give up, to go back to the dark place where pain could not reach him. As he clawed his way to the surface the pain started to shrink back, become localised to several places along his body. He heard a groan that was filled with pain, only just aware that it was himself who made it.

He flicked open his eyes to the faint hue of blue against the rocky ceiling above him and lay panting against the pain for a while. Then he moved, giving them a sharp edge which he bit his teeth down on as he struggled up to a sitting position and looked down at his body.

Still only semi aware and confused he did an inventory. Deep gouges along arms and torso, most likely caused by the many sharp rocks that lay scattered around him. He carried on down his legs seeing more in the faint light till he reached his ankles. He saw one foot buried under a small pile of rocks but as he reached towards them the movement pulled his tendons taut and pain arched through his right leg as pain released itself in an angry shout. He fell back onto outstretched arms that supported his torso as he panted through the pain. As he sat there in the dark he tried to remember how he got here and instantly everything came rushing back. _Ronon._

"Ronon! Ronon!"

"Shut up," came a growl from the darkness that had Sheppard sighing in relief.

"Thank god. Are you okay?"

"Head hurts. Shut up"

Even with the pain, he couldn't help but smile. Ronon, the epitome of succinct and for his benefit he figured he could accommodate the warrior.

"Foot trapped, you need to free it. Can you move?"

Silence

Then the sounds of movement and out of the shadows Ronon came, crawling on hands and knees with his head hung low. As he neared Sheppard's side he raised his head and even in the dim light Sheppard could see the extent of his injuries and grimaced. _Damn that had to hurt, _he thought as he saw blood pulsing on his forehead from the deep gash at his hairline.

Unconsciously he started to raise his left hand to touch the wound but only got a few centimetres of the ground as the movement changed his body angle and pulled on his leg. He bit down on the pain again as he sagged back onto his arms. _Hip bones connected to the thigh bone you idiot_, he admonished himself. He looked back up to see Ronon move down towards his ankle. Apprehension flooded through him.

Ronon paused when he got there and sat on his knees for a bit, almost like he was resetting himself to the new altitude of his head level. Then he reached out and began removing the stones, hefting them up and moving them to his left.

As he removed the stones that touched his ankle pain shot through the nerves and around the bone. Every painful gasp resulted in a flinch from Ronon until eventually his foot was free.

"Packs?" Sheppard asked, still trying to be succinct which suited him trying to talk through the pain.

Ronon's head sagged for a moment and then he started moving again. He came back with their packs, making slow progress.

John took the packs in silence and rummaged through them till he found the first aid kit and then handed the bandages to Ronon who took them without a word and started edging towards his ankle. He pulled out water and the Tyneol out but only took one out of the blister packs. He should stay alert till he knew their surroundings. He decided against giving Ronon any in case he had concusion and put them back into the pack. He swallowed down the pill with the water and gasped for breath. He looked up to find Ronon looking at him waiting. He replaced the cap on the water and placed on the ground beside him and then nodded at Ronon. He bit down, grinding his teeth together. His head sagged against his chest, his breaths squeezing between his teeth in short gasps as Ronon removed his boot and straightened out his ankle, shooting glances at Sheppard as he did so. He wrapped the ankle tightly, efficiently and when he was done he moved back up to help Sheppard shift so that he was leaning against the wall of the cave and then he took the pack and pushed it under his leg to raise the ankle.

Sheppard indicated that he should come back up towards him and when he did he used the first aid kit to clean the wounds on his face and using butterfly plasters and gauze he dressed the head wound. When he was done Ronon slumped beside him against the wall to open the snack bars and eat in silence.

Sheppard was starting to feel better already. The tightness of the bandage was holding the ankle steady and the pain at bay. He pulled his sleeve back to check the time. "Damn, we've been here four hours!" He looked at Ronon. "That means that they will have sent McKay and Teyla out as our seconds by now."

Sheppard immediately hit his radio and started trying to contact them, "Sheppard to Mckay, come in….McKay? Come in… Sheppard to Teyla… Mckay, please repond." Meanwhile Ronon got up and did a circuit of the room while John watched him, hopeful. Ronon came back shaking his head. "No way out." He sat down next to Sheppard. Silence fell between them while Sheppard tried again and at last he stopped. Looking up at the rock fall on either side of them, "There might be something in the rock that's blocking the signal," he said.

Ronon nodded. "We will have to dig our way out," he said as he pushed himself up.

"We will have to be careful not to cause a bigger cave in, pull me up," Sheppard said as he raised his arm, bringing his good foot under him to help push himself up.

Ronon helped him up and stationed him near the wall so he could support himself while he pulled the rocks out the way while Ronon lifted the others, pulling one out and waiting for a moment to ensure the rocks were stable before pulling another. Silence fell over them while they worked.

Ronon threw the rocks, the only sound he was making was a grunt as he threw them but Sheppard could tell he was angry. "Ronon, something wrong, buddy?"

He paused with a rock in his hands, head down, not looking at Sheppard. "I don't like them being out there alone. We are the protectors. We are supposed to protect them." The depth of Ronon's voice told his displeasure as he threw the rock behind him.

Sheppard grimaced, he knew how he felt. "I know buddy." He sighed. "But, Teyla _is_ a leader of her people. I sometimes forget that and we both know she is more than capable of defending herself and McKay if she needs too."

"We should still be there." Ronon answered in his deep growl.

"Yes, yes we should," Sheppard answered. After a pause he added, "of course we should never tell Teyla that."

Ronon paused and looked at him and after a moment's silence he replied, "Agreed."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 3;**

Teyla and McKay cleared the forest as it gave way to slate shingle. Teyla looked at the tribal markings and turned to Rodney. "They say we have to go up there." She said as she pointed up the mountain ridges.

"Of course they do." Rodney muttered as he followed her. They made their way up the slope, the ground slipping underneath with every footfall. If you had asked McKay later and if he was telling the truth he would have said that Teyla seemed to glide over the slate like an apparition with only the slight scree fall to tell her passing. If he continued to tell you the truth he would have admitted that part of him was jealous of Teyla and a part of him was guilty for that, guilty because he knew _why_ she was so good. If you're life depended on you being good at something then you became good.

Before he came to the Pegasus Galaxy he had thought he had had a hard life. Even now, if he was honest, he considered his life to have been hard and amongst other earthlings it was an emotionally strained life but nothing compared to Teyla. Rodney is profoundly aware that as a child of the Pegasus Galaxy he may not have made it to puberty. Every person he met this side of the Milky Way amazed him just by still breathing. He knew he himself had changed within his first year here. He knew how to hold a gun, knew how to fire one and knew what it was like to take a life. Mostly, he hated that change but he hated the alternative more, to lose some one he cared about or to die himself. In the first year he had already learnt the first rule of the Pegasus Galaxy. Live or Die.

He had changed, but he was profoundly aware that he had not changed enough. He was the weak link of the team. Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard were warriors. All three were trained to fight, to move as a predator and to fight to the death. He knew his brain had saved them over the years with his quick thinking, his alternative look at the universe and without him they would have perished. However, at the same time he was aware of times when it was he himself who had put them in that situation. He knew when they held back, surrendered when they would have fought because he was amongst them and because he was unable to survive without them. Most of the time he felt that it was a combination of both their assets that gave them the edge to survive but sometimes he wondered how much more successful they would be without him.

"Rodney?" Teyla's voice filtered through his thoughts softly. He raised his head from his precarious footing towards her voice and found her at the entrance to a cave.

He frowned as he answered, "They won't be in there they are on the other side of these ridges."

She smiled indulgently. "It is getting dark, Rodney. The surface is not safe to travel at night. We will camp here and carry on in the early hours when there is more light."

"But I thought every minute counted, we had to move quickly you said. What if we don't get there in time because we stayed here instead of carrying on?" He asked even as a surprised part of him took in the failing light. Part of him felt sure if it was just Teyla she would have carried on throughout the night, sure of her footing. Again it was himself that was putting the team in danger.

"It is better to arrive late than not at all, Rodney. As seconds we do not have the same time restraints. We were given three days instead of two to complete the course. The Watarkins state that if we leave the course we have to leave the planet, without our team mates if they are not found by the time we leave the course." She continued as she reached down a hand to him, to help him onto the narrow track she stood on, "I would rather we were cautious and successful than rushed and fail."

The slate was compacted here at the entrance to the small cave. He just nodded, fully aware that she was in command of this rescue mission and fully aware that she would not continue if it meant putting him at risk. Normally he was very pleased of her protectiveness but when it was balanced against someone else's survival he hated it. He hated it with a passion and it only strengthened his belief that he shouldn't be here.

Teyla walked into the cave with the P90 ready for action as she swept the shadows with the torch light. Rodney followed, ready for action but still feeling useless. Once they had ascertained the cave was empty, not only of animals but also of any signs that one might come home after a day of hunting she shook off her pack and pretty soon had a small fire in the mouth of the cave. Rodney shook of his pack and started to get out the bedding.

Teyla took out the food and started heating up the MRE's. Rodney took her pack from her and started to take out her bedding too. He took his time laying out the bedding but even so it did not take long and pretty soon he was sat next to her by the fire waiting for dinner, his gun still in his thigh holster with the clasp open. It sat heavy and uncomfortable against his thigh but he wouldn't remove it till he bedded down and even then he would keep it close, somewhere he would be able to find it in the dark and close at hand. Yet another lesson he had learnt. He was adamant that without Sheppard and Ronon there to move quickly and efficiently he would not leave Teyla to defend them by herself because he was to slow.

He sat watching her small efficient movements. His mind musing in self pity, he took the MRE from Teyla with just a quiet murmur of thanks and ate in silence. He could feel every time she glanced at him but he couldn't bring himself to make small talk.

"You are quiet, Rodney," she said softly as she put the empty MRE away.

He shrugged, knowing he came across as a petulant child.

Teyla looked into the fire and the movement caught his eye and he glanced up at her face. What he saw captured him. He saw apprehension and fear in her eyes. He narrowed his, trying to fathom what could bring these emotions to her face when he hadn't seen them when a wraith bore down on her. "Teyla?" He asked softly, his voice sounding loud in the deadly silence of the cave. Of course, he had seen that look before. He had seen it in the infirmary when one of them was hurt, the only thing that seemed to scare not only her but Ronon and Sheppard too. Everything scared him.

"I'm sure they are fine, Teyla. I just wish that I had taken myself off the team before now, then maybe you would have had someone with you that was more able and you could have carried on. You wouldn't have waited if I was better on my feet, quicker and you would not have been sat here worrying." He could hear the hurt in his own voice and hated the weakness.

Teyla sighed. "I was eight years old," she started. The firelight danced against her face, the orange yellow of the light giving her face a more coppery, glittery sheen. The irises of her eyes shined in the light and her voice was quiet but mesmerizing.

He was puzzled as to what she was going to say, could not see how this was relevant, but it somehow felt wrong to say anything into that silence.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 4;**

Teyla hesitated. Still unwilling to open this scar to the world but Rodney needed to hear it. He was going to leave the team if he did not understand that they all made mistakes.

Apprehensive and tentative she continued. "The first time the Wraith came in my lifetime I was eight years old. My Mother…" her breath hitched and she stuttered to a stop. She cleared her throat decisively and continued, "she took me into the forest."

"I had been brought up on stories of the Wraith as we all were but I used to play in that same forest with the other children. We used to play 'Wraith'. We would put on a mask and chase our friends through the trees while they screamed and laughed. I never truly understood the danger then but I never did play 'Wraith' again after that night."

"When my Mother took me into the forest that I knew so well and said 'Wraith' I didn't see the danger. I was excited at playing the game with her and went gladly. She kept telling me to move quieter, quicker but I didn't understand. When we started to hear the screams I wanted to go towards them, to help as we always had. I could hear the difference in the screams, the edge of terror that rang through them but it just made me want to help more."

"I was arguing with her that we should go and help. She was crying that we couldn't, tugging and pulling me away. I felt… I felt ashamed that she was my mother," a hand flew up to her mouth as if she could put the words back or stop the tears from falling.

Her lips trembled and she felt Rodney's arm wrap around her shoulders, heavy and secure, and she fell into that comfort. She put an arm around his waist and her head fell against his shoulder as her other hand came up to catch the tears that fell fresh without notice of the years that had passed. After a while the tears turned to sobs, turned to gasps, turned to silence. She watched the fire and when she was ready she began again. "I heard a scream, this time it was really close."

"Teyla," Rodney stressed, his voice rough with emotion and sympathy. "You don't have to do this…"

There was a pause while she swallowed the hiccup of emotion in her throat and then she looked away from the fire. She raised her head slightly but she knew she could not look him in the eyes. She would not be able to carry on if she saw the compassion in those blue eyes of his and so she stopped at his shoulder with a bittersweet smile on her lips. "Yes, I do, Rodney. It is long overdue."

She relaxed back again, looking into the fire as the colours danced around each other in the semblance of life. "I broke away from my Mother and ran towards the screams. As I broke into the clearing the scream filled my ears. The sound of pain was almost blinding but unfortunately it was a full moon and my young eyes saw every thing in detail."

"The wraith had a man held in place by one hand around his neck that looked almost like a lovers embrace whilst his other hand was pushed against his chest, as I now know he was feeding. He must have just started as I ran into the clearing as I still recognised Pelan, even with his head thrown back with the screams forced from his throat. I always remember him as a kind man who used to give me candles, he was a good man and I stood frozen to the spot watching him wither and die without so much as a protest."

"You were eight, Teyla." Rodney stressed and she heard the protectiveness in his voice, wanting to make her see that she could have done nothing. She bit down on a retort, not wanting to be distracted. This was the first time this story had been told and now she had started she had to finish it in one telling or she may never do so.

Teyla swallowed and lifted her chin to carry on strongly. "My mother came into the clearing and dragged me away. The Wraith was going to finish his current meal before he followed us," contempt heavy in her usually light tones. "I looked back once before we left the clearing to see Pelan fall to the forest floor but his screams still seemed to travel on the night air, following us as we ran."

"She knew the Wraith would follow us and she whispered that we had to move quickly and quietly. I tried, I really did, but I was shaking in fear and had trouble running without being careful about where I stood. I seemed to make so much noise as I ran and the Wraith found us," she turned and looked at Rodney. "The Wraith found us because I could not move fast enough or quietly enough." Teyla's eyes were overflowing with unshed tears that sparkled like diamonds in the firelight. Rodney swallowed hard and pulled her tight to him, resting his chin on her head. She lay her head against his shoulder, turning into his neck.

Her voice fell to almost a whisper, hot damp breath against his neck, her words rushing forth. "He took my Mother first, in front of me. I saw her stripped of her beauty and her years and her life. She was unrecognisable as she fell to the floor, withered and gone. I saw my Mother die and learnt that you have to be able to move quietly and quickly or the Wraith will take someone you love. Just as he was done and turned to end my life, the men of the village turned up and they killed the Wraith. Halling was amongst them and he scooped me up and took care of me, from that day to this Halling took care of me." She paused for a moment looking into the fire and Rodney just held her close watching the fire dance while the things she had told him danced within his head.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed herself back till she was sitting up on her own. "You see Rodney," she stressed, almost manically. "We all make mistakes and sometimes people we care about die. Whatever you do and wherever you go this will not change." She swiped at her tears, "All we can do is the best we can do from one moment to the next and learn to live with the consequences. I would rather live with the consequences of something I _did_ do than to live with the consequences because I did nothing."

"You have made mistakes, Rodney, but you have also done the right thing. I would rather have you here making some mistakes than not at all and I firmly believe if you were in Atlantis and not here doing something then we would not survive your decision."

Rodney swallowed. Emotions raw he found he could not use word's so he just nodded, quickly and sharply as he blinked away tears of his own. Teyla slumped against him, emotionally exhausted and he continued to hold her for a while longer.

"Afterwards, if I made a sound I would freeze, unable to move at all. Although I learnt to get passed this, I also learnt to move quietly and quickly when I needed. Payment for the Pain is how I always thought of it. I am thankful every time I meet someone who did not have to learn the way I did or the way Ronon did. You do not have to move quickly and quietly, Rodney, and I hope you never do." She paused. "You will stay?" Her voice hesitant, to have released this scar for nothing, she kept very still waiting for his answer.

"I will stay," Rodney's voice wavered with emotion but the undercurrent was strong, decisive and Teyla relaxed against him. Silence settled over them for a while as their minds rambled through their own thoughts and memories.

"You should get some sleep, I will take first watch," Rodney said as he helped her up and walked her to her bedroll. He helped her in and sat on his bed next to her with his gun out, ready to use. He felt her take his hand and pull it towards her and so she slept curled up in her sleeping bag with their hands clasped in front of her face. He could feel her breath across the back of his hand as he his mind wandered through thought after thought.

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 5;**

Finally a chink of light struggled through the rocks. Sheppard turned to Ronon, "Finally", he smiled. He watched Ronon get the pack. If they pushed through they not only risked rocks falling into the space and having to start again they also risked a further cave in that they might not be able to move, if they survived it.

He had already explained his idea to Ronon and having already searched the rocks to see how they fell against each other he had already spotted a likely area where this would work. Eventually the pack sat amongst the rocks balancing on two of the largest rocks like a bridge.

They removed the ones underneath carefully and as soon as it was clear Ronon squirreled through into the early morning sunlight. Sheppard lay down and started to crawl through until he felt Ronon grab his hands and pull him through and out into the open in a quick sharp movement. Once through Ronon helped him to the side of the cave out of danger and went back for the pack.

Sheppard leaned against the rock face amongst the shale, breathing heavy through the pain as he watched Ronon warily ready to do what he could if something went wrong. The sun was beating down on him, bright to the point of painful after the darkness of the cave. Ronon stood outside the cave, gripping the parts of the pack that showed through this side of the rock fall, and pulled sharply pivoting quickly and gracefully out of the way. He pressed himself against the rock face as the rocks fell with a resounding crash into the cave and out to roll past them down the slope. He waited for them to settle before he pushed away from the rock face and sauntered over to Sheppard.

Sheppard leaned his head back against the wall closing his eyes against the brightness, breathing heavy as exhaustion finally flooded his system. "How's the head, buddy?" He asked as Ronon sat down next to him.

Ronon shrugged. "Be okay."

"Next time I say we have time for a detour, tell me I'm an idiot." Sheppard said.

Ronon grinned. "Okay."

"McKay must be rubbing off on me, hunting for ancient tech. We could've come back once we'd finished the course." Sheppard raised his head, looking beyond the cave and then back the way they had come before he turned to Ronon. "Do we go back and find 'em or carry on. We could still finish the course in time and check they've actually left?"

"They will have left." Ronon stated.

"We don't know that, not for sure. Our time's not actually up. We thought we would be back already but we still have till noon. The course isn't dangerous as such, it's just treacherous terrain. We can finish and then call a puddle jumper to find them and get them out – It might actually be quicker in the long run."

"I don't like it when I can't see them." Ronon stated. Not a demand to go back, just stating a fact.

Sheppard nodded, looking hopefully back the way they had come but could not see any sign of them. "Niether do I, buddy, but if we don't finish the course and miss 'em we have to go back without them. If we finish the course then we gain the right to trade and the freedom of the planet and we can look wherever we need to for them."

Ronon nodded. "It's logical to go on. We've already lost over six hours."

Neither of them moved as they both sat looking back along the path they had already travelled. Eventually Sheppard sighed, deep and depressive. He closed his eyes, hoping this was not going to be one of those decisions he had to live with his whole life. "We'll go on. We'll already be slower because of my ankle," he said as he opened his eyes, not looking at Ronon.

Ronon nodded and stood up, pulling the rescued pack onto his back, he helped Sheppard stand up and supported him. They started a slow climb in silence up the slope, both casting looks behind them. As they reached the top they saw that they were on the last ridge and the slope ran down to meet a meadow. They both stood and looked back, sighing as they turned away to move down the slope.

Ronon deciphered the marker at the bottom and, still supporting Sheppard, they made their way across the meadow towards the tree line on the other side. Silence fell between them with worry for the remainder of their team, not that Ronon was much of a talker to begin with. Even without an obvious threat, they both knew how quickly Pegasus could turn an innocuous event to a 'run for your life' event, Sheppard continued to second guess his decision.

They reached the trees as Ronon spotted the next tribal markings. They followed the directions between the trees as the sun rose higher in the sky on their second day.

They passed through the trees, which were spread out far enough that they were not hindered walking side by side. Sheppard's thoughts had been chasing each other round and round in his head and after having the same conversation with himself for about the 100th time he found that he was in desperate need of a distraction.

"You've heard of this 'test' before, right? You ever hear of anybody failing it?" Sheppard asked Ronon.

Ronon shook his head, negative. "Only by refusing to take part, taking offence that their trust was brought into question."

"Why do you think they ask this before they'll trade with anyone, I mean, it's just a walk through the park so to speak. I don't see what it proves." Sheppard asked.

Ronon made a point of looking at Sheppard's sprained ankle with a smirk before making his comments.

"By accepting you are taking them at their word that the danger is minimal, by going in two's you are saying that you trust those who travel with you. In turn, this trial says that they trust you to be out of their sight, to stick to their rules whilst you are here."

"Probably shouldn't mention our little detour to them either then." Sheppard said with a wry grin.

"When you go to trade you will already have their trust and they will accept the truth of what you say. Trust is rated very highly in the Pegasus galaxy and is not given easily, nor earned easily." Ronon looked Sheppard in the eyes as he continued. "You hold mine."

Sheppard did not know what to say. He knew that Ronon stayed with them to kill Wraith, but he was always taken aback by how much faith and trust he showed him and his team. He never had the words to tell him how much he was humbled by that.

"Sometimes as Commander of Atlantis I am forced to give my trust but it's always… tentative. As John Sheppard," he said as he tapped his chest, "there are only seven people who hold my trust without question, only four of them in the Pegasus galaxy. Trust is something I always value, being received as well as given. I want you to know that, I want you to know you are one of those four."

Ronon nodded. "I know," he said, simple, factual. Sheppard immediately felt uncomfortable as he always did sharing feelings and needed a change of subject. "Hang on a minute," he said as he pulled himself free from Ronon and turning him. He opened up the pack to take out the Tynelol and water. After taking two for himself, he offered them to Ronon who only took the water taking a long draught. He repacked them and closing the pack, hobbled back into position next to Ronon as he gave his support again and they carried on their trek through the woods in silence.

As they came out the other side the land gave way sharply to loose ground. Sheppard's good foot started to go from under him, he twisted to grab hold of Ronon to steady himself. Just as Ronon was reaching back for the nearest tree to steady them, Sheppard latched on to him, pulling him away from the tree and towards him. In a tangle of limbs they rolled down the slope and into a crevice at the bottom.

They rebounded off the sides as they fell down into the trench, both landing boneless and unconscious in a tangle of limbs.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 6;**

Teyla and Rodney swapped shifts half way through the night. Rodney curled up in his sleeping bag, still unable to sort his thoughts into some form of closure. Teyla sat with her back to him, cross-legged at the end of her bedroll, one hand on her P90 and the other on the sleeping bag draped across his ankle.

He knew how she felt. Whenever he thought about the death of someone close, whenever one of them had a close shave he always felt the uncontrollable need to reach out and touch them. Sometimes just one of them was enough and sometimes he needed to reach out to all three of them. A touch to the arm, the small of the back, a pat, just a physical contact to prove they were really there, really breathing, still alive.

After Carson he was almost like a shadow to all of them. They had all allowed it without question. Her touch was as much a comfort to him as it was to her right now. "Teyla?" he ventured tentatively.

"Yes, Rodney?" She asked quietly, only turning her face half way towards him.

"Thank you, Teyla." He paused, his hand rolling trying to bring him the words he needed. "That must have been hard to relive and you did that for me and I wanted you to know… that I know that. That…," he took a deep frustrating breath, "thank you, Teyla." The words seemed so useless and wholly inadequate but he saw her half smile.

"It was a good reason, Rodney, and it needed to be told." He nodded and drifted off to sleep with his thoughts turning into his dreams, feeling the comforting weight of Teyla's touch on his ankle. He woke to her heating up the breakfast MRE's. He noticed she had already packed her bedroll away and he followed suit before he moved over to her for breakfast.

"Have we time for breakfast?" He asked, even as he dug in. Mainly just for something to say that did not dredge up emotions from the previous night.

"They were only overdue by our standards as both John and Ronon said they would complete the course in one day. The Watarkins gave them two days to finish the course so there maybe something we are not aware of that slowed them down. They still have till midday today to finish the course. We ourselves have already completed two thirds of the course and have not seen any sign of them yet. They must be ahead of us, we still have time to find them and finish the course by their deadline."

Rodney nodded as he finished his breakfast and poured himself a second cup of coffee. By the end of this cup he should be awake enough to continue with his brain at least semi active.

Teyla rose and started to put on her pack. As he struggled into his, she put the fire out using the loose shale from the slopes to smother it. They started out over the ridges and it didn't take Rodney long to be thankful that Teyla did not make him do this at night.

When they had made it about half way across the ridges he pulled out the Life Signs Detector. "Oh this is bad, this is very bad." He started pressing different commands, when he shook it Telya interrupted him.

"Rodney?"

"It doesn't work," disbelief tinged his voice. "There are no life signs, not even ours. It must be this stone, I've got nothing. It's the stone, right?" He looked up at Teyla, blue eyes wide with worry.

"Yes, Rodney. I am sure it is. We know their last position which is only another two ridges. We should continue there as planned." Rodney nodded in response, trying to push down the panic as he followed her. Two ridges over they saw the rocks, he saw Teyla glance up to see where they came from. She motioned him to stay where he was as she made her way quickly up the slope.

"It seems to be some kind of cave in. There is an opening. I'm going in. Stay outside Rodney." He clambered up the slope to see her scrambling over the rocks, the light on her P90 dancing over the rocks ahead of her.

"Can you see anything? Are they there? Sheppard! Ronon! Teyla? Can you see anything yet?" He could hear the panic in his voice but he could not seem to steady his emotions as scenario after scenario playing through his mind and none of them good.

"They are not here. There is another cave in beyond. I'm just going to have a closer look. I'll be back in a minute."

Rodney wanted to tell her to be careful, wanted to tell her no, to come back out. He knew he couldn't, this is what they did. They had to know if Ronon or Shepard were there but he couldn't help being afraid. If something had happened to them then Teyla was all he had left and he couldn't help the overwhelming urge to pull her out here to safety, to keep her alive and not leave him alone.

His main nightmare was that he lost one of them. Every now and again he dreamt he lost all three and he was alone again. He woke from those dreams covered in the sweat of fear and shaking uncontrollably. He would shower and dress and sit in the darkness of his room. Waiting for the hour when they would wake up and he could go and see if they were still there without them realising how very scared he was and why.

Those mornings he would sit, waiting for the sun to rise and the shaking to stop. The fear would never go away until he had seen all three of them and even then a foreboding cloud would follow him for days, his need to check on them uncontrollable. He was aware they knew he was scared most of the time, but he knew they did not know how bad it was or what scared him the most.

The silence from the darkened cave was starting to get to him and he could see his hand start to shake as he pushed it against the rock face. The cold pressure stilling the tremor that ran through him. "Teyla?" he asked into the darkness, unable to keep the slight tremor from his voice.

He squeezed his eyes shut as the light from the P90 blinded him. "Damn it, Teyla!"

He heard her scrabbling over the rocks and he opened his eyes as she clambered over the last of them to land beside him, P90 angled down. As she stood up her hand came from behind her, holding up an Earth military issue boot by the laces.

Rodney could see something on the surface, a different texture, a different colour. He had seen enough blood in the Pegasus galaxy to recognise it on sight now, regardless of how a surface disguised it. He looked up at Teyla with wide eyes, full of fear and emotion. He turned to scrabble over the rocks into the cave but Teyla grabbed hold of his tac vest to hold him back.

"They are not there, Rodney."

"But…" he indicated the boot. Such an innocuous item and yet one that filled him full of dread. Normally he would have plenty to say, but he found his mind blank. At least, blank from words, not blank from images of Sheppard.

Teyla turned him so she could look him in the eyes. She shook her head as she stressed. "They are not there." She glanced back into the cave. "There is a cave in at the rear of the cave but I got no response. Also, this was near the entrance, near this opening. I believe they got caught in a cave in but managed to dig their way out. Colonel Sheppard must have injured his ankle and had to remove his boot."

Rodney looked into the cave and then searching the ground around them. "Then where are they?"

"It is good news, Rodney. They dug their way out. That means that they were at the worst only minimally hurt. We did not meet them so they must have carried on. They are trying to finish the course. If Colonel Sheppard was hurt then their travel will be slowed. We may even catch them before they finish the course, Rodney." She smiled at him. "They are okay, Rodney."

He released the breath he had not realised he had been holding and nodded repeatedly. "Yes, yes. That makes logical sense. They couldn't have dug their way out if they were… well, they must have been okay. At least when they left this cave they were okay. Well, I'm sure they are still okay and yes we can catch them up. Everything will be fine, Teyla." He finished, as if he was the one comforting her fears.

She smiled indulgently at him. She turned him slightly, tying the boot to his pack. "I believe Colonel Sheppard would like this back when we catch up with them."

"_Do_ I look like Prince Charming. Cinderella can come get his own damn slipper back. I don't see why I have to carry it all over the country side." His blustering words to cover up the fear that would not fully go away.

"There is chocolate dessert in the mess today. If we don't have to waste time coming back for his boot, we might just make it home in time."

"Chocolate dessert? Really? Oh, okay then." He paused. He swallowed and glanced sideways at her. "You really think they're okay?" he whispered quietly.

Teyla glanced up the path they had yet to take before answering him. She patted him on the arm, "Yes, I'm sure of it, Rodney."

TBC.


	7. Chapter 7

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 7**

Sheppard clawed his way back to consciousness for the second time in as many days. Like de'ja vu he felt all the pain start to shrink back to familiar parts of his body and some new parts too. His eyes fluttered open and he lay looking up at the sheer walls of the trench into the blue skies above as fluffy clouds passed along trying to figure things out.

As his memories came filtering back, anger and frustration, and maybe a little humiliation followed them. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!"

"Shut up"

He lifted his head slightly to glance towards the growl and found Ronon squatting against the wall, his head in his hands.

_For god's sake,_ _who the hell builds an eight foot trench at the edge of a wood!_ he growled to himself. As he threw an arm up towards the peaceful skies and the offending ditch he said out loud, "This is supposed to be a nice, simple trek across the countryside and I feel like I've done five rounds with a Wraith."

"Sheppard," Ronon growled.

He remembered Ronon's previous injuries and figured the fall had not done him any favours. Adding to that a little guilt that he had put them both here, he figured he should shut up now. He glanced at his watch. "Great, three hours to go," he muttered to himself. He let his head fall back and just lay there watching the clouds go by, not enough energy to move for a moment. He figured five minutes wouldn't make much difference and he just wanted to do nothing for those five minutes, he figured at least then he wouldn't get hurt for at least five minutes."

Suddenly a face appeared in his vision, silhouetted by the light of the day behind him, and if he hadn't already recognised who it was the voice would have given it away. "Well, if it isn't Colonel Cinderella. Waiting for your Princess Charming, Colonel? Don't you think it's a little egotistical to just lie around expecting her to come find you?""

Even silhouetted he could see the beaming smile on Rodney's face and knew without a doubt that his expressive eyes were flooded in relief. He couldn't help beaming back, knowing by his tone that both him and Teyla were safe.

He followed it with a heavy sigh. Rescued by Rodney, last time this had happened Rodney had stolen his dessert for a week in recompense. He frowned, trying to figure out the unnatural shape that seemed to dangle from him. "Is that… is that my boot?"

"Call me buttons or prince charming just once and I'm going home and leaving you here and I'm leaving your boot too. Have you heard of Odour Eaters, Colonel?" Rodney barked down at him, pointing a finger viciously. As he did so his balance seemed to falter and as Sheppard's eyes had adjusted to the dim light he was able to see Rodney's eyes go wide in panic as his arms started to flail and his feet start to slip. _Oh god, he's gonna land on me!_

He made the smallest of movements starting to curl in a defensive position when Rodney just stopped. He noticed a hand had reached over and was gripping onto Rodney's tac vest, pulling him back in to safety. _I could have done with one of them helping hands_, he thought to himself. Telay's face came into view, her hair falling about her face as she looked down into the trench. "Hello, John."

"Hello, Teyla."

"Hello, Ronon."

"Hello, Teyla." _Oh yeah, don't tell her to shut up do you – coward._

She cocked her head to one side, looking over his prone body. "Are you hurt, John?"

Rodney's face shot into view, face frowning.

"I'm fine," he said, without a thought, the response automatic. Rodney's face disappeared just as quick with an unbelievable huff. Sheppard continued regardless. "Maybe you know why someone decided to build an eight foot trench here and how we are supposed to get out of it?" He raised a querying eyebrow.

The disembodied voice of Rodney McKay floated down to him. "I think you will find, Colonel, that the eight foot trench is in fact plans for irrigation for this field, which is obviously intended for crops in the near future. It is not finished. If you walk about a mile in that direction then we should be able to create a slope that you can clamber up if there is not already one there." Rodney's face came hesitantly over the edge of the trench looking down at him with a furrowed brow, "are you sure you're okay?"

Before Sheppard could point out that he could not see which direction from the bottom of the trench and could Rodney please point again, but this time in view, he was interrupted.

"Everyone shut up." Ronon growled.

Rodney looked taken aback and Sheppard could see one of his rants about to be released on an unreceptive Ronon. "He hit his head a few times, quiet would be good."

"Hhmmpfff," was Rodney's response which in view of the fact it was Rodney was pretty amazing. Sheppard made a mental note to check Rodney's head for injuries when he got out of the trench.

He waved Ronon over without a word. He was down here in the trench with the big guy so he wasn't about to antagonise him anytime soon. He held up his hand, pushing one leg underneath him as he had done in the cave. Ronon got with the program and helped him up.

He looked up to see both faces watching them with worried expressions clearly visible. "Which way?" he asked quietly. They pointed to their right and Ronon and Sheppard started walking. He could hear Teyla and Rodney accompanying them on the surface. He actually found a lot of his frustration had disappeared with their arrival and whole lot of comfort and relief had replaced it at their presence.

Eventually, with Ronons help, they reached the end of the trench and sure enough there was a rickety wooden ladder. Obviously, who ever was digging this stupid trench, _sorry perfectly sane irrigation ditch_, need a way out too. Ronon clambered out. John started to climb using the age old method of rabbit hops from rung to rung as he only had one working foot. He was expecting the ladder to give way any minute and end up on the floor again. As he neared the top, Ronon reached down and grabbed his wrists, pulling him easily to the surface. He sat on the edge of the trench for a while just getting his breath.

He waved for help and strong hands hooked under each arm as Ronon and Rodney grabbed an arm each and pulled him up to standing and away from the edge of the trench. He noticed Rodney stand back and look him up and down a few times. "You look like shit, Sheppard."

"Yes, well, thank you, Rodney. Need I remind you that I wouldn't actually be trying to stand here if you hadn't told them we would do anything to look at their nice sparkly ancient tech and volunteering us into the bargain," Sheppard regretted the words as soon as he saw Teyla cringe and Rodney's demeanour change. His shoulders slumped, his head hung sharply to the ground but not before Sheppard saw the guilt in his face.

"I'm sorry, Colonel," Rodney looked back up, eyes intense and focused and guilt ridden. "I put you in danger and I'm sorry for that, I truly am. Do what you see fit." He hung his head again. He noticed Teyla's face behind Rodney and made a mental note to have a talk with her later. Obviously, something had happened while he had been out for a stroll.

"Do what I…? For goodness sake, Rodney," he said exasperated. He put a hand on his shoulder, brow furrowed as he spoke to Rodney. "I know what you're like around ancient tech, we all do, and we all know why. One day you will find something amazing that will save us all and all this? All this will be worth it."

He smiled as Rodney raised his face, eyes searching his for any sign of a lie. Rodney's tense features relaxed a bit and his embarrassment flashed across his face. "Yes, well, just remember that next time the natives try to prod me with sharp things."

"Oh I'm sure I will… after a while. How much prodding should we allow, Ronon? Ten minutes at least I'm thinking."

"He's incredibly loud, I'm thinking twenty five." Ronon replied, straight faced. Which was a problem because sometimes even John wasn't sure Ronon knew they were joking. Then he broke out in a feral grin at Rodney's explosive huff.

"So, which way is the finish line?" he asked as he looked at his watch, "and any chance we can cross it in two hours?"

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 8;**

"I think we should make it, Colonel Sheppard. The 'Finish Line' should be at the end of this field and then down the track that leads into the rear of the village."

He put his arm around Ronon's shoulders and pulled Rodney in closer to put his other arm around his shoulders. "Lead the way," he said, looking up at Teyla with a smile which she returned before turning to walk away.

Rodney put a supportive arm around his waist, just above Ronons, as they started to follow. "Not that I don't live for the chance to be a human crutch, Colonel, but can you tell me why you feel the need when we are not exactly short of wood," he said, sarcasm in every word, as his free hand indicated the wood to their right. "I am sure Ronon could nip in and whittle you up a crutch with his teeth."

"Firstly, Rodney, because we only have two hours and we would waste time making a crutch out of wood when human ones are actually faster and better. Secondly, I knew that you lived to be a human crutch and I am here to make you're life more fulfilling." He grinned at him, widely. He may not have morphine but Rodney baiting was the next best thing to take your mind off the pain. He saw Rodney's lips twitch before he responded.

"I am thinking you should recheck the word in the dictionary, Colonel. You seem to have the word fulfilling confused with cursed."

"Rodney, how can you say that?" Sheppard responded with his best wounded voice. "Just think how your life has improved since you met me."

"Yes, let me think of the ways. Before I met you I had to work in a lab that did not blow up, well at least from any outside force. I have since learnt how to run for my life in many various ways, which I must take the time here and now to thank you for covering all the options. Then of course there is the running for my life, which is worth mentioning twice as it seems to have taken up a large percentage of my life. Not to mention the training you have given me in crash landings, always helpful to a theorist scientist. How to do your job to the background of gunfire and occasionally mortar fire, and to think I used to prefer Bach."

"See, Rodney. Fulfilling," Sheppard interrupted him with a grin.

"When you're looking up that word, why don't you look up Sarcasm while you're at it? I think you may find these conversations a lot more enlightening."

Sheppard chuckled.

Ronon growled.

Sheppard and Rodney glanced at him and then looked at each other nervously in the eye and decided that they should probably continue this conversation later. They continued in silence.

Sheppard kept looking between Teyla and Rodney. He had not realised how worried he had been that he could not see them and how apprehensive he was in his decision to continue until he realised how relieved he was that they were here with him. Thankful that it was not yet another decision that he would have to live with his whole life, they were becoming few and far between.

They stumbled off the field and into the worn track that must lead to the village. Sheppard could not believe that what they had thought of as a simple trek would have resulted in so many injuries. He should not be surprised anymore at how often the Pegasus Galaxy kept doing this to him, and yet he still was. Not long now, just a little further.

They continued along. Every now and again, Rodney would open his mouth to say something and then snap it shut with a glance to Ronon. Eventually, they saw the village. Smoke rising from the little hamlet and it looked so welcoming and peaceful. It always amazed him how these people managed to maintain normal, everyday lives with the threat of the Wraith hanging over their heads.

It was easy to forget sometimes that they were out there when you saw a scene like this. Smoke rising lazily from chimneys, children running through the streets playing, their mothers doing washing in the gardens and you could easily forget how soon the scene could change. How soon they could die, he supposed that's why so many of the natives they met made so much of the little things. Found joy in these little things.

He heard a bell toll and looked back to the track and found a boy ringing a huge bell that stood on the outskirts of the village. The boy was pointing to them and waving as the other villages came running towards a wooden arch that stood across the track. As they neared he saw them smiling and laughing with joy to see them and it became infectious as his team started to smile back. Teyla waved back at them.

As they crossed under the arch a cheer went up from the crowd and everyone rushed forward to embrace them. Kitarcha, their leader, came forward to shake him by the hand. "Colonel John Sheppard, we are glad to see you but you are hurt. Please accept our apologies. Come with us and we will tend to you."

Sheppard nodded and they all went to follow him as he wondered why Kitarcha had apologised. Then Ronon's words came back to him _You trust them that the danger is minimal_, an exchange of trust. If he was hurt when they told him the danger was minimal then maybe Kitarcha thought he might be hesitant in his trust.

"Thank you, Kitarcha." They followed Kitarcha to a building at this end of the street.

"You sure you want to put your health in the hands of these people," Rodney whispered in his ear.

"It's another show of trust, Rodney. It's only cuts and bruises and a sprained ankle. I think they are beyond the phase of 'removing the evil with fire' stage. I should be fine."

Rodney looked doubtful but nodded. They went into a room at the back that had about five cots in it and Kitarcha indicated to one of the cots. Ronon and Rodney backed him up to the side of the bed and lowered him down onto it. He pushed himself back against the headboard and looked up at Kitarcha.

"I will go and get Ola, she will tend to you," he said as he left them to it.

"What's the betting she's a blond beauty?" Rodney groused.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow at him. Rodney shrugged and moaned, "Well, it's just the way your luck goes. I'd get the Russian disc putter. You'd get the Barbie look alike."

"The way my luck goes? Do I need to remind you which one of us is laid out on the hospital bed, Rodney? I don't think Lady Luck is very happy with me at the moment."

Kitarcha came back in at that moment with a woman behind him who must be Ola. She was a Barbie look alike, probably, sixty years ago but her hazel eyes still shone within her brown, wrinkled face. Kitarcha introduced them and Sheppard tried to give Rodney the benefit of the doubt and told himself that Rodney's broad grin was being introduced to her and not smugness that his 'nurse' was not a blond bombshell.

"I will leave you in Ola's capable hands, Colonel John Sheppard," Kitarcha said and Sheppard made a heroic show of ignoring Rodney's stifled laugh but made a mental note to owe Teyla something good when she jabbed her elbow into Rodney's ribs.

"I will show the rest of your team the market place in the meantime," Kitarcha said as he moved towards the door way.

The team looked towards him for his lead and he nodded to them, agreement that they should go. "I'll be here when you're done." They all followed Kitarcha as he turned left up the street. While they had been inside the main street had been transformed with coloured lanterns stretching across the road and stalls set up the length of the village.

Teyla turned to the leader, "It looks lovely, Kitarcha. You're people move quickly."

"We always set up the market on the return of the trade applicants. It is a celebration that we have found new friends that we can trust and that their produce will enhance our lives as we hope ours will enhance theirs," Kitarcha responded and his pleasure at her comments were obvious.

Teyla continued to talk to Kitarcha while they walked through the market stalls amongst the other villagers. Rodney kept looking at all the stalls but all he could find was trinkets and produce. He kept thinking that it would be the next stall but eventually he became bored and his thoughts started drifting as he kept an eye out for the important stalls.

He watched Teyla as they walked through the stalls. As he did he found himself suddenly realising that although he was here with his team mates, he was in fact surrounded by aliens. Actually, to be more factual he was the only alien on the street. It was hard to get his head round that.

It's not that he ever forgot that they were alien's, most times it did not occur to him one way or the other. However, he never exactly accepted them as human, as human as himself. When he thought of Teyla in the firelight with tears in her eyes he realised that was no longer the case. By seeing that side of her she had become more human in his eyes.

Teyla stopped at a stall and purchased a set of banto's sticks, Rodney had no idea why as he couldn't imagine that she would replace the ones she had. He knew for a fact they were made for her by Halling, the balance perfect for her fighting stance and weight.

"Aren't they training sticks?" Ronon asked.

_Oh, of course, he would know._ Man was like a walking military manual with the amount of things he knew and all revolving around fighting and survival.

Rodney always wondered if it was because he was a runner or if he had always been that way, he suspected he had always been a warrior.

Teyla nodded with a smirk. "Yes, they are a special present for someone." She turned away to continue along the market, _subject closed I guess_. A little part of him was stung that she would do this for someone else when she had never done so for him. He was not sure what he would do if she asked him to train with her and he would probably avoid it at all costs. Still it would've been nice to have been asked.

Maybe because he was a little annoyed now, he found his patience had finally run out. "Where's the stall for the ancient tech?" Rodney asked, ignoring Teyla's look.

"Oh, we don't sell the ancient technology, Rodney McKay," said Kiarcha, turning towards him as he spoke.

Rodney exploded. "_What?? _But the Colonel, everything he went through, that was so we could trade for the ancient tech."

"Oh, no, no, Rodney McKay, the course that you all completed was not for that. It was for something else entirely."

Rodney got a bad feeling in his stomach and hesitantly he found himself tempting fate. "Well, what was the course for?"

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 9;**

Kitarcha smiled broadly and McKay wanted to hit him.

"You had to prove you were trustworthy. According to our ancestors the technology is well sought after and must only be shown to our trusted allies least they try to steal it."

_Oh, it could not be that simple. Who did the Pegasus Galaxy think it was kidding, he was not as gullible as John_. "So… er… we're trustworthy now, right? Because we finished the course in time, you saw us cross the line in time, right? We so did you're little trek thing and that's all you said we had to do so if you're gonna bring in some other little 'oh didn't I mention it' thing now, well I think that would just be totally unfair," Rodney ranted, his voice raising an octave or two on the last words.

"Rodney," Teyla's sharp tone interrupted. She turned to Kitarcha who seemed to be in mild shock. "I am sorry, Kitarcha, Doctor Rodney McKay is a very emotional man. If you could please tell us if it would be possible for us to look at the ancient technology or if there is something else we need to complete, in order to obtain your permission?" Teyla smiled serenely at him, with all the patience in the world emanating from her.

Rodney fidgeted behind her and if he couldn't rant out loud he would do it internally. _Emotional? You make me sound like a girl_… _Of course there's something else. There is ALWAYS something else. They probably want Teyla to bear the next generation, or Ronon to father them, or one of them to fight some Godzilla type thing with attitude. God, what if they want ME to fight it! We are all going to die, I just know it._

Kitarcha emphatically shook his head from side to side. "No."

_Yeah, thought so. Damn Pegasus Galaxy twist,_thought Rodney.

"You have completed the course that was set down generations ago. You came back in the allotted time, you did not try to harm us or steal from us. You finished the course with honour. You have earned the right to view our most treasured possession and it would honour me to take you after the negotiations."

_Oh. _Rodney didn't need to fake the abashed look of embarrassment that lay heavy on his face. _Oh, wait… did he say? _"After the negotiations?" Rodney asked suspiciously, already knowing the answer.

"Yes. The course was part of the negotiation ceremony. Once they have been completed then you will be trusted friends and I can show you the ancient technology."

"Uhuh," Rodney said. Not trusting himself to say more but couldn't seem to stop himself. "Well, maybe we should move on with that then. You know I can't wait to be your trusted friend and we really should get the Colonel back as soon as possible so maybe we should… you know… move straight onto the negotiation ceremony. What do you think, Teyla? Yes, me too, right, straight onto the ceremony thing."

_I bet we have to do it naked or something._

Kitarcha blinked at him, processing his words and then smiled. "Yes, in one more step of the sun we shall sit in the hall and discuss the ways we can assist each other as friends. Till then you can continue to walk the market or return to Colonel John Sheppard. If you prefer, I can leave you to walk alone. You will soon be trusted friends and can move freely through our lands."

"A Step?" Rodney sighed heavily. "We have to wait another day??"

Teyla interrupted Rodney. "A step is an hour, Rodney. A pass is a day." She turned to their guide. "We will walk a little further before we return to Colonel John Sheppard, Kitarcha. Please, do not let us keep you from your duties. Will someone come for us when the time is ready or should we make our own way to the hall?"

Kitarcha gave a small half bow, "I will send someone to meet you at the healers to show you the way." Then he turned to Rodney, who took a startled half step back, and gave another half bow and then again to Ronon before turning and walking away, talking to his people as he went.

"What?" Rodney said in answer to Teyla's look. Teyla put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "Hmpfff, I'm going to go check on the Colonel, he may need some help removing the leeches." He turned and began walking back up the way they had come, ignoring Teyla's frown and Ronons grin.

Rodney walked back into Sheppard's room and his hand flew swiftly to cover his nose. "Oh, my god what is that god awful smell?"

Sheppard nodded to his ankle. "It's not so bad once you get used to it."

Rodney bent over his ankle and peered at the dark green substance that was layered thickly over his ankle. One hand still covering his nose, "Is that…" he pointed a finger of his free hand at it making sure not to actually touch it, "is that actually bubbling??" Disbelief and mild horror was apparent in his voice as he looked back up at Sheppard.

Sheppard smirked slightly and rolled his eyes. "It's not acid, McKay." Sheppard looked down at his ankle with a thoughtful expression. "It's actually very soothing. The pain has gone and it's actually starting to feel better. I think Carson might be interested in a sample of it. We should include some in the negotiations. Did Kitarcha say anything about the negotiations or the technology?" Sheppard asked as he raised his face to look at him. "Have you seen the technology yet? Please tell me this was worth it?"

McKay's shoulders slumped and he stalked over and sat down heavily on the bed next to him. "We're not allowed to see the technology till _after_ the trade chats and they don't happen for another hour." He glanced down and Sheppard ankle and grimaced. The bubbling was making him nervous as to what chemical reaction was going on against his skin.

He looked back up to Sheppard's face, cataloguing the injuries on the way. When he looked closely he noticed that he had some colour in his cheeks now, which only seemed to highlight the memory of his pale face when he first came out of that irrigation ditch. _Because of me._

"Erm… Colonel… John." Using his first name earned him a sharp look but he wasn't going to back down from this. "This…," he began, pausing as he waved a hand up and down Sheppard's body indicating the many cuts, bruises and not forgetting the sprained ankle. "This is because of me. I spoke too quickly and put you and Ronon in danger… and… and it feels that I've been doing it a lot lately…"

"McKay," Sheppard growled.

He turned sharply to look Sheppard in the eye. "No, no. I… I need to say this." He moved his eyes to look at Sheppard's ankle so he didn't have to look him in the eye and therefore, did not see the shock on his face as he continued. "I told Teyla that I was going to leave the team." He could sense Sheppard pulling himself to a more upright position but still didn't look at him.

"She told me about… that is, she persuaded me not to take myself off the team. The thing is…" he took a deep breath. "The thing is that it's mostly you that seems to pay for my mistakes and so I think that… that if you think differently. If you think maybe I should leave then I will. I won't fight your decision. I just wanted you to know that. I'll go quietly."

_There he had said it. _He hung his head, hands in his lap and blinked slowly. _I should feel better but I don't. _The idea of his team going through the gate without him filled him with dread. Teyla's words kept coming back to him and the idea that something happened to them because he was sitting safely in his lab when there was something he could have done to save them. He knew he would never recover from that guilt. He knew it was the right thing though. Sheppard always paid his price and sometime that price felt too high and that made this the Colonel's decision. He raised his face to look at Sheppard in the eyes. He straightened his shoulders and jutted out his chin. _It's his decision. _

"Okay, Rodney. I'm gonna say some things and then you're gonna pretend that we never had this discussion and we are never going to discuss this again, Right?"

_Oh, he's using that voice. _Rodney nodded because when Sheppard used that voice the only option was to listen and agree.

Sheppard nodded and then continued. "I asked you to fire a gun and you did it. I asked you to run into a hive ship and you did it. I ask you to do the impossible and you do it. I ask everything of you and you do it. This goes both ways, Rodney. You nearly die…" Sheppard paused, tensing his jaw before he carried on resolutely, "You get hurt, because of the places I lead you, because of the things I ask of you.

I get hurt for the same reasons. It's a price I'm willing to pay, just as you are. We need not only to survive but to win and we do what we must to make that happen. I trust you to bring me home, just as you trust me. Sometimes you get carried away, too focused on the tech to appreciate the possible dangers. I understand that, Rodney. The need to find the answer, I understand that only too well."

Sheppard paused and studied Rodney's face before he continued.

"I think sometimes you forget, sometimes everyone forgets. It was _me_, Rodney. I woke them. I condemned not only us, but the whole Pegasus galaxy so I understand that need. The need to put things right and save as many as we can before it's too late. It's hard not to get sidetracked by the dream that this time we will find something that will save us. It's only because the safety of the team is my responsibility that keeps me focused.

What I'm trying to say, Rodney, is that we all make mistakes and you make yours for all the right reasons. I don't want you to leave the team because the team needs you, Pegasus Galaxy needs you here." Sheppard clenched his jaw briefly before adding quietly, "If anyone can find the answer, if anyone can redeem my soul, Rodney, it's you."

Sheppard dropped his gaze, looking at the hands in his lap as Rodney watched him. _What do I say to that? It's been four years, John. I thought you'd come to terms with that long ago but you're still weighed down by the guilt of waking the wraith. _

"I never blamed you for that, you know that, right? Sheppard, it was an accident. You never meant…"

"This isn't about me, Rodney." Sheppard growled sharply before taking a breath and continuing. "This is about you and why you have to stay. I need to know that this discussion is closed. I have to know that you will stay, not just today, not just until the next time one of us gets hurt. I need to know that you understand why it is so important that you stay." Sheppard looked up at him. "Do you understand, Rodney."

_If anyone can redeem my soul, Rodney, it's you._ The words replayed in his head and he knew his answer. He nodded. "We'll find it, the answer, we'll find it."

Sheppard gave him a hard smile and nodded. He hung his head back down to his lap.

Rodney looked around for something to distract himself with. "If you think you've got used to that stench, Colonel, then maybe we should get Carson to check out your sense of smell when we get back."

Sheppard looked up at him with a half smile. He opened his mouth to respond but was distracted by Teyla and Ronon coming into the room. "Hello, kids. Been having fun?" he asked them.

Rodney looked up to notice the glance that Teyla shot between the two of them. _That's your story and I didn't tell him_, he wanted to say. Still he had talked about leaving the team even after his talk with Teyla, somehow it felt like a betrayal and he lowered his eyes. He was sure she only told him that to make him stay, let him understand they all made mistakes, just as Sheppard had.

He glanced at Ronon, he wondered what mistakes he had made in his life. Wondered if his weighed him down the way that theirs did, wondered if his mistakes had been as life changing as theirs.

Teyla smiled wide at Sheppard. "You look better, Colonel."

He nodded, "Feeling better. So, what'd ya buy me?"

"They did not have any toffee apples, Colonel," she said with a smile.

Sheppard smiled and Rodney rolled his eyes. Ola came back into the room at that point and cleaned the paste from his ankle. "Ola? Can you tell me the name of this stuff?" Colonel asked, pointing to his ankle. "Would we be able to trade for it?"

Ola nodded. "It is called Treemoss paste, Colonel John Sheppard. You will be able to ask for it in your negotiation ceremony." He nodded with a smile as she bandaged his foot again and left.

As soon as she was out the door the smile fell from his face and he turned to his team. "Ceremony?" He asked. "Do we know what's involved?"

_He's actually__ learning. There's hope for him yet. Always think the worst and the Pegasus Twist can't surprise quite as easily._

Teyla shook her head, negative. Ronon hadn't moved since he had parked himself against the wall near the door.

A teenage girl came into the room then and gave a half bow to the room. "I have come to take you to the negotiation ceremony, if you are ready?" she said, wide brown eyes looking at them all in wonder.

TBC.


	10. Chapter 10

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 10;**

Sheppard swung his legs off the side of the bed and Rodney jumped up to help him. Once standing he tested his foot against the floor. He raised his head, smiling. "Oh, we have got to get some of this stuff." He turned to Rodney. "I think I can actually wear my boot. Where'd you put it?"

"What? How should I know where your boot is? It's probably with the rest of your stuff," he said as he turned away to reach for Sheppard's pack. He heard a sound of quickly suppressed laughter behind him and turned back to Sheppard with a frown. "What?"

Sheppard smirked and pulled him upright and spun him around. "Nice of you to guard it with your life, McKay," he said as he started to untie the boot still attached to Rodney's pack back as Rodney strained to look over his own shoulder at it.

Sheppard untied it and sat down on the bed to put it on and laced it up. He reached out and Rodney helped him up again. He put pressure on his foot gingerly and then with more force. He smiled. "It's good." He turned to the girl. "Lead the way."

They walked up the street behind their guide. John considered asking her about the ceremony but knew from experience if it was bad they never told you anyway. They used innocent code words like _'see the inner you'_ and _'test the strength of your words'_ which generally translated to 'the use of spears or knifes'.

They walked into the hall, a cool darkness after the warmth of the sun. He could feel his body tensing, mind alert, watching for the danger. He could feel the rest of his team doing likewise, even Rodney. He could tell by the silence and knew without looking that Rodney was throwing furtive glances between his team looking for the signal that they had seen something he had missed, always missed. He had learnt to watch them instead, trusting them to see the danger, trusting them to tell him when to run out of there.

The girl indicated a corner in the hallway. "You can leave your packs here. They will remain untouched, you have our promise," she said, nerves blatant in her voice. Sheppard knew that not every one was used to travellers through the stargate and he had to decide if the nerves were due to the strangeness of the events or due to trying to hide something.

Outwardly, John was relaxed, smiling. A trick he had learnt when dealing with CO's he had no respect for. His inner feelings and emotions very rarely showed outside, unless he wanted them to, unless he trusted someone enough to show them. He did not trust these people yet, not enough to risk his team if he was wrong. He finally nodded, removing his pack and placing it in the corner as he nodded affirmation to Rodney to follow suit. He kept his gun holstered and hoped they would not test his resolve this far.

Once, he and Rodney had put down their packs the girl led them into a room where Kitarcha and his advisors were already seated. The girl indicated to the chairs opposite them. Colonel sat opposite Kitarcha with Teyla on his right and Rodney on his left with Ronon beyond him, nearest the door. Sheppard smiled and nodded to Kitarcha who smiled and nodded back before asking, "Are you well, Colonel John Sheppard?"

"Yes, thank you Leader Kitarcha Samaross." John said, using his formal title in return and receiving an approving look from Teyla.

Kitarcha smiled and nodded, "Then we will begin."

Sheppard could feel Rodney tense next to him. He kept himself relaxed as people started to file in but couldn't help the apprehension climb when they stationed themselves behind every person in the room. Suddenly a hand appeared in his side vision and he leant away from it even as he realised the hand had a cup in it and watched as it was placed on the table in front of him. He ignored Rodney who had nearly fallen off his chair as he jumped so violently. He glanced back to Kitarcha, who was watching him intently, and he nodded back and smiled.

"Erm, Colonel?" Rodney said hesitantly, as he indicated his cup.

Sheppard kept his eyes on Kitarcha as he leant forward slightly. "Doctor Rodney McKay has a bad reaction to some liquids. Would it be okay if I tasted to make sure it is safe for him?"

Shock registered on Kitarchas face as he and his advisors shot looks towards Rodney, who shifted nervously and back to him before nodding vigorously. "Yes, of course. The thought that we could harm one of you," Kitarcha shook his head plaintively. He indicated with a wave of his arm, "Please, please, try the Balsamore."

They all watched intently as Sheppard lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip, holding it in his mouth as he ran his tongue through the liquid, taking his time. He noticed Rodney watching him and he turned to face him as he swallowed. "It's okay, Rodney," he said as he placed the cup back in front of him.

Rodney did not look all that pleased which helped Sheppard find his smile as he turned back to Kitarcha who beamed broadly before he spoke. "That is good. Please, if you would, repeat our actions."

Kitarcha and his advisors all raised their cups and waited patiently. Sheppard and his team raised theirs hesitantly. "May truth and honesty always bind our friendship," Kitarcha intoned before they all took a sip and placing their cups in front of the person to their right. Sheppard and his team repeated their phrase and took a sip from their cups, placing them to their right.

Kitarcha picked up the cup in front of him and waited again patiently. Sheppard saw the grimace of disgust that crossed Rodney's face as he reached forward tentatively to pick up what had been Ronon's cup. Sheppard noticed that he had surreptitiously picked it up at an angle so he could twist it to take a sip from a clean place on the rim. _You can face a wraith with a 9mm but won't risk taking a sip from someone else's cup – You're a strange little man, Rodney, _he thought with affection as he raised his own cup.

"May the trust that started our friendship never die," Kitarcha intoned as he again took a sip and passed the drink to his right. Sheppard and his team repeated his actions.

"May our future forever be bound to each other," Kitarcha intoned, repeating the procedure. Sheppard saw Rodney shoot him a glance at this, which he ignored. _Yes, I recognise that line but let's give them the benefit of doubt. _Sheppard and his team followed suit.

"May the trust, honesty and friendship we found here today bring joy to both our people," Kitarcha intoned. Sheppard and his team repeated the action.

Kitarcha stood, beaming wide. "Friends, let us celebrate the finding of each other," he said as he clapped his hands and people flooded in with platters of food that they placed on the table. "Please, eat your fill. We will discuss the ways we can help each other over dinner."

Sheppard noted that Rodney was a lot happier to share their food than he was their cups. They talked through dinner, discussing the things they were able to trade. Sheppard had already told them that they would not trade weapons before they left on the gauntlet. He found it easier to make that clear from the beginning now. They traded medicines, training, farming techniques against their medicine, food and knowledge of the Pegasus galaxy. He requested a sample of the treemoss paste and requested a viewing of their ancient technology. He also gave a promise of help in the future and told them how to contact them should they need it.

As the negotiations neared an end he found himself relaxing slightly. _No knives so far, although judging by Rodney's face he probably would have preferred that to sharing someone else's germs._

In direct contrast to himself, Rodney was getting more restless. _That chat earlier must have had an effect. You wouldn't normally be this patient with ancient tech in the offering._ He decided to put Rodney out of his misery.

"When would we be able to look at the technology of the ancients?" he asked.

Kitarcha answered to Rodney with a grin. "I will gladly take you after we have finished our food."

Rodney pushed his plate away. "Ready when you are… er Leader Kitarcha Samaross. _The only thing that counts higher than food,_ Sheppard found himself smirking.

"Very well," Kitarcha said, smiling indulgently as though Rodney was a small child waiting for a promised treat. He clapped his hands and a server stepped forward to his chair. "Please fetch the guide, Machal Petieross." The server nodded and left the room.

One by one, they pushed their plates forward as they finished and by the time the server returned they had all finished and the servers were collecting the plates. Behind the server stood a man in the local dress, who bowed to Kitarcha.

He was older than Sheppard had expected but he could determine that age mattered not. He could sense the strength in his wiry limbs that enabled him to venture in the wild, regardless of the weather. He reminded him of an old Romany peasant whose age always belied their strength and endurance.

"Good day, Machal Petieross. We have made new friends," Kitarcha said as he indicated Sheppard and his team with a sweep of his arm. "They wish to see the things the Ancients left in our care. I will accompany them if you will lead us."

Machal looked them over and then returned his gaze to Kitarcha. "I would be honoured, Leader Kitarcha Simaross," he said as he gave a half bow.

Kitarcha smiled and Sheppard had the confusing feeling that the choice had been Machal's and not Kitarcha's. Either way, they were given permission and he for one did not really care where it came from. Kitarcha looked to Rodney, "Do you need to fetch anything before we leave?"

Rodney was nearly bouncing in his seat as he replied. "No, no. Our packs are in the hallway. Ready to leave when you are." He said, already starting to rise.

Sheppard was still reeling from the fact that the ceremony was over without incident… and knives. He still did not relax totally and he made eye contact with Ronon before they left the table. He was not surprised to see that Ronon was no more relaxed than he was. They made their way out of the hall, always expecting the worst. Sheppard was on one side of Rodney and Ronon on the other with Teyla behind and McKay totally oblivious to his protection and Sheppard comfortable in the knowledge that this format worked. They had plenty of experience to know without a doubt.

All relaxed and friendly smiles on the outside, but all coiled tight and alert inside. They left the hall in 'Quick Run and bring Rodney' formation.

TBC.


	11. Chapter 11

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 11;**

They left the village behind them as they traipsed up into the hills behind. Rodney was out of breath by the time they reached the ridge. He sped up to walk next to Kitarcha as he tried to talk between gasps, ignoring Sheppard's smirk.

"So, what… can you tell me… about this… technology?" Rodney asked.

Kitarcha turned to him. "I am sorry Doctor Rodney Mackay, but I am unable to put into words the wonder of the sights you will see."

Rodney sighed. "Of course." _Well, sounds good, if it's beyond description then maybe it might be worth all of this outdoorsy trudging. I wish I had some idea of what we were walking into though. Even if these people don't mean us any harm, Ancient tech has a history of doing just that. I wish we could have brought the jumper. _

They followed the ridge of the hill for a while. Rodney was sulking but bit his tongue. He had already endangered his team once by speaking too quickly and now, this close to the ancient tech he was not going to risk upsetting the natives. They were always so sensitive, and Sheppard had already been hurt enough that day, plus however good his ankle was Rodney was sure he was not up to running for his life just yet.

He glanced at Sheppard's foot, the words on the tip of his tongue._ Does it hurt? Are you okay?_ Yet he never said them. He never ever said them, he always felt uncomfortable showing concern, always expecting the retort that it was none of his business, _what's it to you?_

He knew his team were different from anybody he had known before, knew he would never hear that from their lips. Still something stopped him from asking. He frowned in worry, unable to ask the questions that would ease him. Sheppard must have seen something in his expression.

"I'm fine, McKay," Sheppard said, exasperation tingeing his voice.

"You're like one of those dolls with a pull string. Got anything else amongst your set phrases?" Rodney asked worry putting a sharp edge to his voice.

"It's not much further," Sheppard retorted with a smirk.

"Oh yes. How many times have I heard that one?" Rodney moaned and then leant into him, whispering, "Seriously though, how far do you think it is?" Rodney asked, turning away from Sheppard to watch where his feet fell. _The man was insufferable, funny but insufferable._

He pointedly ignored Sheppard smirking at him. They were always smirking at him and sometimes it got under his skin. His paranoia or rather his life experiences warning him that he was being laughed at again. But there was always something in their smiles and in their eyes that made it different. There was warmth there that made it acceptable, that made him acceptable. Sometimes it got under his skin, but most times those smiles reminded him he belonged and he didn't mind them at all_._

The old guy must have heard him because he turned round and shouted back, "Just to the end of this ridge, and then down the other side and we will arrive." Rodney thought he kept the glare off his face, as he nodded politely. "He's got the ears of a damn bat," he muttered_. _

"What's a bat?" Machal asked as he stopped, looking at Rodney with his head cocked to one side. The rest of the party all stopped and turned back to look at him. Rodney stopped and watched them all warily.

_Great, I bet the whole team__'s smirking now, damned if I'm gonna turn round and check. _

"Erm… it's just an animal with really good hearing." He responded succinctly, wanting the attention to move away from him quickly, he didn't like it when natives noticed him.

They paused as a whole and then turned and continued to walk again to the end of the ridge. Rodney's team overtook him, Sheppard glancing at him as he walked by with a huge grin on his face, _knew it_. Rodney sighed heavily and followed. They reached the end of the ridge and made it down the other side as the grass gave way to more of the slate shingle that they had experienced yesterday. As they followed the trail that curved around the corner Rodney saw that it opened up into a cave. _Bat cave._

The old man took down a torch from a sconce at the side and lit it. They ventured into the tunnel, Rodney looking apprehensively at the darkness ahead of them. As Sheppard and Rodney crossed into the mouth of the cave a blue hue lit up the tunnel. There was a gasp from the villagers ahead as they looked around them, finally settling on the team.

"Erm… that would be us," Rodney said tentatively. _Here we go with the Pegasus twist. Now come the fires and the evil inside that must be cut out with blunt rusty knives. _

"But you are not Ancient. You only live in the city of the Ancients. You told us this," Kitarcha said, disappointment clear in his voice.

_Oh, of course. He thinks we lied, now on top of the evil to be cut out they have to get the lies too._

Sheppard stepped forward slightly; Rodney noticed he also used that step to move slightly in front of him as well and he glared at his shoulder, _I'm all for being protected but I do wish you wouldn't do it with your own body_.

Sheppard looked Kitarcha straight in the eye as he spoke, "We have a gene which is like the blood of the ancients. The ancestors left their technology in this galaxy for you to take care of and the left a gene with our people for us to take care of. Some of us still have it and it enables us to operate the technology. We are _not _Ancient."

_Oh great! Well done Shep, now they're gonna want to cut that out as well and keep it for their very own. It's like the duck who laid the golden eggs all over again._

The team stood still, watching Kitarcha process this information. Waiting to see if they would have to run or not. Kitarcha looked at Sheppard for while, studying his face. Then he turned to Rodney to watch him. Something he seemed to see there seemed to relax him slightly. He turned to his advisors and then after a brief murmuring conversation, he turned back to the team. "You are trusted friends and we will take you at your word. We still trust you and find you honourable."

Sheppard gave a slight bow, "Thank you, Leader Kitarcha Simaross."

Kitarcha swept his arm to welcome them further into the cave. As they moved further in, Rodney realised the cave was large and square with roughly hewn surfaces. As they neared the rear of the cave it was also flat with rough hewn walls and he realised that the it was more like an anti chamber carved into the rock than a cave.

In the rear wall was a square open door way with timbers to shore it. It reminded him of the door to the path of the dead in Lord of the Rings. He couldn't help but glance above the door for an inscription and was thankful to see it blank.

"It was made by the dead and kept by the dead," Sheppard whispers in his ear with a smirk.

"Like I need anything else to be nervous about," Rodney replied.

Sheppard chuckled as he moved past him but Rodney noticed there was a hand on his P90, ready to bring it in to action if need be as he swept a glance into the corridor, checking for dangers. He followed him into the corridor and saw that the hewn rock had been replaced with the smooth metal of Atlantis. It was soothing to be amongst something familiar as they walked through the hall, the blue lights of the cave had been replaced with the familiar white lights built into the walls.

The corridor soon opened up into a large round cavern, Kitarcha stood to the side of the entrance, watching them with a large smile on his face as he revelled in their responses. The rooms ceiling was a massive dome that centred onto an ornate glass centrepiece of clear glass that had streaks of red and orange that flooded the cavern with natural light, edged with the orange and red tints.

The floor was slightly reflected so that these lights rebounded to fall against the almost smooth stone of the cavern wall. The slightly rough surface of the walls created shadows and depth of this light. Consoles started a pace on either side of the doorway and continued round the room, seeming to hover in place as the support struts remained out of view until your eye fell on those that hung from the opposite wall. The only break was in a doorway mirrored on the opposite side of the cavern.

The consoles were already lit up as the Colonel had entered the cavern before him. He was standing near a central slab of rock that rose up out of the floor with a smooth surface, looking like a table. As Rodney neared the centre table he noticed a central hexagon of glass that mirrored the design in the domes centre piece. _It can't be._

"Colonel…" his voice filled with awe at the possibility, he reached towards the glass but Sheppard put a hand on his forearm and stopped him. He shot a glance at him. "Colonel," he said sternly, "Do you have any idea what this might be?"

Sheppard nodded and Rodney noticed the apprehension in him. He frowned, trying to figure out what the problem could be.

"Leader Kitarcha Simaross, would it be okay for Doctor Rodney McKay to look at the ancient technology here. He has worked with it for many years and he will not harm it."

_Oh yeah, natives sensitive. God he had almost done it again. It's just that, my god if that is what I think it is. _He looked at the glass again. _It's the same pattern, the same colours. I should have seen it as soon as we entered. The only time the ancients used this colour scheme is for ZPM's. Everything else is blues and greens but ZPM's and the stargate rooms are reds and yellows and oranges. _He started to reach for it again, already in his own mind, his own world, _It has to be…_

"Rodney," Sheppard said quietly, tightening the grip on his forearm. It was enough to break him back into the reality around him. He turned to look at him and as Sheppard shook his head slightly he bit his tongue and drew away from it, putting his arm back down by his side as Sheppard let go. He looked at Kitarcha, to find everyone was watching them.

"This was given to us to trust, Colonel John Sheppard. It was a great honour and our ancestors promised that it would always be guarded. No-one has ever been allowed to interfere with it in the eons it has been in our keeping. Machal is its keeper, he protects it during attack and he chooses who knows its location and who would be denied. If this place falls then the failure would be his, not mine and therefore the choice is his to make. I will stand by his choice, regardless of the consequences." Kitarcha turned to Machal and gave a short but deep bow. "What is your decision, Keeper Machal Petieross?"

All eyes turned to the humble man who was stood near the opposite door. He turned to Ronon and studied him for a short while and then Teyla, he then turned to Sheppard and studied him for a long while. _Oh yeah, eek it out. 15 minutes of fame eh. He has to say yes, he's heard of the Wraith. He has to know that this could be it. What if he doesn't understand, maybe I should say something. _

He turned to McKay last but studied him the longest and it felt like he saw everything. Things flashed through Rodney's mind, Doranda, the shield protecting the city while he fought for another way to save Atlantis, the chair, the ascension machine, the drones they stole from the castle. All thought upon thought, the good merging with the bad. All the light and shadow that had made Pegasus Galaxy home for him, created a family for him and made pain and guilt natural for him.

Rodney didn't know if this was his paranoia that Machal would see these things in his face and that it would give him cause to deny them access. Always so easy for others to read and wasn't that just typical. That for a man who found it hard to read the easiest of emotions in others, wore his plainly for all to see. If he believed in voodoo he could easily believe that Machal was sifting through his memories, his innermost feelings and that thought alone made him angry.

As open as his face was, there were still some things that he kept inside that not even his team knew. Some things he was not yet ready to deal with himself. He knew his face told may things but he was still a private man for all that and not able to cope with others knowing them.

"Well?" He asked anger evident in his voice and on his face.

Machal gave a small bow of his head and turned back to Colonel John Sheppard.

TBC.


	12. Chapter 12

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 12;**

"It is a heavy burden, Colonel John Sheppard, as I think you are aware. It is not only for the promise made to the Ancients but the promise made to my ancestors, passed from Keeper to Keeper. If it falls during my time, then I fail not only the ancients and my people but all the Keepers who have passed before me and their sacrifices have been for nothing.

You are good people and I sense that Doctor Rodney McKay is very capable. You may have access but nothing can leave this chamber. That is my decision."

Shepard pursed his lips but nodded.

"But Colonel…" Rodney started but was interrupted.

"Rodney," Sheppard stated, in his 'let's not have this discussion in front of the natives' tone. "Why don't you just see what is actually here before you say anything else."

_I get it -__ don't start a fight if the only thing here is pretty lights_. "Fine, Colonel. May I?" He gestured to the centrepiece of the table with sarcasm.

Sheppard smirked as he gave a small bow, sweeping his arm towards it, "Of course."

"Hmmppfff." Rodney reached towards the centre piece, noticing the same activation buttons. He pressed the relevant places and the hexagon rose out of the table. So focused on what he was doing he was unaware that the villagers gasped as the ZPM rose out of the table and drew in to watch him work like moths to a flame. _A ZPM. Amazing. Damn but they're beautiful. _He shucked off his backpack and drew out his laptop, connecting it to the centre piece. He pulled out a PDA and scanned the ZPM, muttering to himself as he went. He checked the data and then checked it again. _I'm sorry, John. No answers today._

"It's almost depleted, Colonel. The most it would give us is shields for a few hours," he said distractedly, without looking up, as he continued to process the data. He put the PDA down and accessed the data the laptop had been taking. He went over the data. _Been here for way before the Ancients left, it seems to have been used marginally. What ever this installation is for, the power requirement was minimal. That doesn't bode well. Low power usage generally means that this is just a database of sorts._

He unplugged the laptop and re-installed the ZPM into its casing before he moved to the first console near the entrance. _Right, let's see what they wanted to record here. I bet it's something like native population or something equally useless. _He plugged in his laptop and started to access the data. _So many great creations and all we ever seem to find are useless databases and death traps. Right this panel seems to be a maintenance panel for the whole installation. _

He glanced through the reports but his knowledge of ancient text was only basic. He recognised the word 'Potentia' was recorded a number of times. It seemed an unusual amount of incidents considering theirs hardly ever went wrong. _Just as well it's depleted if it encountered this many problems._ He unplugged the laptop and moved to the next console. He heard the major on his peripheral hearing.

"Where does this go?"

He glanced over to see Machal wander over to stand by Sheppard at the doorway on the opposite side. "It is just another exit that leads into the slate hills behind us." He saw Sheppard glance briefly at Ronon and then nodded to Machal as he peered into the corridor.

Rodney turned back to his work.

_Temperature controls. That's odd. Why would they be so concerned about the temperature of this cavern? __ It seems they wanted it kept within set parameters. Curious. _He glanced around the cavern again, taking in the detail. _No storage features here so there doesn't seem to be a need to keep it at this level for something living. Ancient technology works at all temperatures so it's not for that. _He glanced at the ZPM again. _Not for that either._

He moved onto the next console, still unaware that he had gained an entourage.

_Power controls. Again, monitoring power usage and __maintaining parameters. These are normally factory controls. Can't see why you would need these strict parameters just to collate data. _"Erm… Kitarcha?" he turned with a start as he found Kitarcha right behind him.

"Rodney."

He glanced over to the source of his name and found Sheppard with one eyebrow raised. He made a decisive small bow towards Kitarcha, keeping one eyebrow raised and eye contact with Rodney at the same time. _Why can we never find a tribe that values the use of time and don't make me waste it in niceties._ He nodded to Sheppard. _Message received._

He gave a short bow. "Leader Kitarcha Simaross. Can you tell me if you experience any extreme weather conditions on your planet, especially heat, cold or lightning?"

Kitarcha had a smile playing at the corner of his lips. "No, Doctor Rodney McKay. We have three seasons. This is our harvest season. Next is our Raining season and then the cold season. They are all as mild as today. Why?"

Rodney waved a hand towards the previous console, a frown on his face as he thought things through. "Oh, that console maintains temperature. You would only need to do that if the external weather was due to extreme changes or if something inside this cavern," as he swung a hand around to encompass the cavern, "needed strict temperature controls to either keep it stable or to maintain optimum use.

This console," as his hand fell to the console in front of him, "monitors power usage which would imply that either something external could affect them, such as a lightning strikes. Or, as with the temperature, something internal required strict moderation to either keep it stable or in order for it to work at its optimum. Do you have records, do you know if the weather has changed since the Ancients were here?"

"I have never known the weather to differ and no-one has ever spoken of their ancestors saying differently. The weather has always been so. We have a saying, 'As unchanging as the seasons', I would be surprised if it has ever been anything different," Kitarcha replied.

"Yes, well we had that saying too. It didn't stop us from having an ice age." He turned back to his laptop to look at the data. _The only sensors seem to be for inside the cavern, if this was due to external temperatures then they would surely need to monitor outside as well as inside. Hmmmm. Only monitors that register and regulate internally hints that only something internally would have changed the temperatures. Why so strict parameters?_

Now, slightly conscious of the group following him and watching him, he unplugged the laptop and moved towards the forth console. As he passed Sheppard and the other exit, he glanced into the corridor, but there was just darkness. He could venture in there after he had finished with these consoles. He plugged into the console, all the while processing the results from the previous three, working through possible scenarios and reasons for the tight restrictions.

_Activation console, hmmm. Now I just need to figure out what it activates without blowing anything up. _He went through some of the logs, trying to pick out the words that would give him some direction. _Potentia again, okay so, this activates the potentia in the middle of the room. Words for power, maybe this releases the power to whatever this installation is for. _He moved to the fifth and last console. _Some kind of stock control, no, more like order processing. This seems to be listing the order of things to be done. Still seems to be more to a factory type setup than data collation. Atlantis and I'm sure those few are the names of Ancient ships. That seems to be the name of the castle city we found those drones in. Why? What do all these things have in common? _He looked around the room again.

_A depleted ZPM, maintenance controls, temperature controls, power consumption controls, activation console__, an order console for want of a better word. All set up like a small factory but there is nothing in here anything like an assembly line. _He glanced towards the door that Sheppard was stood by. _That just leads to the outside, just like the way we came in. Why would you have two exits to the same place? Is that relevant or just some weird design choice. _He moved back to the activation console.

Sheppard moved towards him to join him there. He watched Rodney plug in the laptop.

"What 'ya found, Rodney?" Sheppard asked.

"Anomalies, Colonel. That's what I've found. Everything seems to be set up to manufacture something but as you can see there is nothing here. There could be an installation somewhere else on the planet but there should be some visual connection, which I am unable to find. This console should help me figure it out, but at the moment I don't know what this installation is for."

"And nothing the locals said when you asked them gave you any hints?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney froze and looked at Sheppard out of the corner of his eyes, embarrassment colouring his cheeks. "Erm... no?"

"You didn't ask them did you, Rodney? You didn't ask the Watarkins, who have been guarding this facility for 10,000 years, if they knew what the installation was for, did you, Rodney?"

Rodney could tell Sheppard was biting back a grin and as much as he wanted to know what the facility was for he was hoping they did not know, because if they did Sheppard would never let him live it down. He watched in silence as Sheppard turned to the Keeper.

"Keeper Machal Petieross, can you tell me if you know what use this installation was created for?"

"The reason has been passed from Keeper to Keeper for many thousands of years. I cannot be sure to the accuracy, Colonel John Sheppard, but I was told that this facility gave the Ancients power," Machal responded. His posture straightening and his shoulders pushing back to show the honour he felt at his work and that of his ancestors.

"There power, Rodney. Does that help any?"

Rodney only half acknowledged Sheppard, his mind was already racing as this new information suddenly connected all the dots. He glanced between the depleted ZPM and the activation console, his finger and thumb tapping out the thought processes. _Gave them power. _A small laugh bubbled free as he turned a huge grin on Sheppard. "Don't get your hopes up Sheppard but I may have found some of your answers."

"Rodney?" There was apprehension in Sheppard voice but also hope. Rodney could hear it plain as day. Hope that Rodney had found something to ease his guilt.

"Just give me a minute. I need to check something first." Rodney turned back to the console, going through the data, looking at the controls. "Right, I think I've got it now."

"Teyla, over here please," he said as he walked over to the second console. He waived her to move faster, getting impatient now. When she got there he pointed out the temperature gauge. "I need to know if it moves out side of these parameters. Understand?"

Teyla nodded to him. "Yes, Rodney. If it moves either side of this I will let you know."

He smiled at her and then moved to the third console as he shouted Sheppard over. "You need to watch these power levels and tell me if they move out side of these parameters, okay?"

"Yeah, you sure it's okay to turn on Rodney. You know I'm all for answers but his hasn't been turned on in over 10,000 years. You sure it's okay?"

"Yes, yes," he said impatiently. "There's like a kill switch. If you or Teyla shout, I will hit it and no damage." He smiled a blinding smile. "This is gonna work Sheppard."

"Yeah, while we're on the subject, what is it exactly that's gonna work?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney just grinned as he went back to activation console and pressed down on the activation button.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Payment for the Pain**

**Chapter 13;**

A mixture of sounds filled the chamber, a low humming that seemed to echo through it like a gentle whisper and underneath that was the sound of a breeze, almost beyond the sound of hearing. Rodney kept his eyes on his console, shooting glances at Teyla and Sheppard. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Eventually the noise wound down to such a point that Rodney was straining to hear it until it disappeared all together. Leaving a loud silence that was broken by Sheppard, "McKay?"

"Yes, yes. Give me a minute would you?" Rodney checked the console was powered down safely and unplugged the laptop and strode over to the main console. He activated the centre piece with shaking hands. _If this worked, please, please work._

He plugged in the laptop and scanned the ZPM. He turned to Teyla and Sheppard with a huge grin. "It's full." He turned to find Ronon and grinned at him as well. Sheppard walked over to look at the readings.

"How?"

"This place is… is like a filling station. You put the ZPM in, turn it on and it fills it up. There must be power stored underneath us. We can bring all our ZPM's, one at a time, and fill them up. We will have full power in one day." Another small laugh escaped him. _The things we could do with Atlantis now. The discoveries we could make. _

Sheppard looks at the floor nervously and Rodney can hardly blame him. "Underneath." Sheppard says quietly. He shakes his head as if knocking loose images of what could have gone horribly wrong before turning back to Rodney. "How can you be sure it's safe? Do you know how much is there?"

Rodney was having trouble maintaining the happiness in the face of Sheppard's apprehensive air. He was finding Sheppard's reaction confusing.

"No… I mean no, I don't know how much is there. The scanners don't work. According to the PDA there is nothing there but rock. I experienced the same thing in the slate hills. There is something in the rock that blocks the scans naturally. That's probably why it's here. The Wraith would never find it by scanning. They would have to stumble across this facility and understand it to even know it was here."

"And how do you know it's safe?" Sheppard asked again, shifting from foot to foot before catching himself and standing still.

"According to these consoles it's safe. The maintenance logs just talk about problems with the ZPM. There was never anything recorded in regards to the power. If we understood it all we would be building our own, Colonel. The Ancient consoles say the Ancient power source is good." He shrugged, "That's the best I can give you."

Sheppard nodded slowly, looking at the now full ZPM. Rodney watched him for a bit but unable to wait he felt the need to remind the Colonel this was a good thing.

"Full ZPM, Colonel. This isn't the answer we talked about but its part way there. With Atlantis at full power we can keep our people safe and who knows what else we can discover. Things it would take Atlantis years to show us, we could discover in days. Who knows what's amongst the walls of Atlantis. This is not the answer we were looking for but it could put us on the path to finding it. I don't get why there's a problem."

"McKay… just… give me a minute will ya?" Sheppard stated with exasperation clear in his voice. Rodney's previous joy dies with his words and he just watches.

_The answer lies somewhere in Atlantis. I've known it __since the beginning. Right under our noses, it's there and I can sense it, I know it. With this I may just have a chance to find it. You have to see that. Give me a chance, John and I will redeem your soul... give me a chance and I may even redeem my own._

Sheppard turns to Rodney. "You can do this safely? You're sure?" He stresses.

Rodney looks him in the eye. "Yes," he states positively.

Sheppard nods as his mouth transforms into a grin. Rodney mirrors it, blue eyes alight.

Sheppard turns to Machal. "Keeper Machal Petieross, Atlantis uses these ZPM's," he says as he indicated to the one in front of him, "But ours are low. With this facility we could recharge them. We can run Atlantis as the Ancients did and we can protect it from harm. Would you let us use this facility?"

Machal had been watching their conversation and he listened carefully to Sheppard as he spoke. He paused, taking a deep regretful breath before he replied. "You can't take anything from this place. It is passed down from Keeper to Keeper. Nothing may leave."

Sheppard sagged, disappointment obvious in every line of his body.

Rodney opened his mouth to say something but Sheppard barked at him, "McKay!" He shook his head as he placed an arm across Rodney's chest, starting to push him away.

He looked up into Sheppard's face as he spoke. "No wait. I just want him to understand." _You think I'll say something that will ruin it all don't you. _The anger at that thought caused him to shove Sheppard away. "Damn, it Colonel. Just. Wait."

He turned quickly to Machal, speaking quickly before Sheppard could stop him.

"They didn't want anything to leave because they wanted this facility to remain. The Ancients understood how important it was that whoever holds Atlantis has a way to guard it. They know it is the only way to defeat the Wraith. We don't want to take anything away. We will bring our own ZPM's. We just want to fill them up with the power source that is underneath here."

Sheppard placed a stilling hand on his bicep, a frown directed at him. Desperation started to fill his words as he continued, regardless. "We don't want to take anything away, we just want to use this facility for the reason it has been kept. All those years all those sacrifices and for what? So this place can sit here and gather dust? It was saved for this reason, saved so it could be used again. We could do so much, Machal." He squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. "Keeper Machal Petieross," he corrected and then continued, trailing in an almost whisper, "We could save so many, do so much."

"Rodney." Sheppard's voice softer this time, full of understanding. Rodney turned to look at him, seeing Ronon and Teyla behind him looking on in pity. Sheppard dropped his gaze to the floor, "It's their choice, Rodney." Sheppard looked him in the face as he continued, "Even if the outcome is good, we've made enough enemies in this galaxy. I don't want to make anymore," his voice sounded tired, regretful.

Rodney closed his eyes slowly, pushing away his disappointment. _You're right, god you're right. We can't afford anymore enemies. _He looked into Sheppard's eyes and nodded, sadness filled his face. He looked back at the ZPM forlornly. _We could have done so much._

"You may bring your ZPM's and you may fill them, but only once a year."

Sheppard and Rodney both jerked their faces to Machal. The Colonel even took a step closer to him in his eagerness to believe. Both stilling as Kitarcha growled, "Keeper Mach…"

"It is my choice to make, Leader Kitarcha Simaross. My choice as Keeper." Machal interrupted as he turned to lock eyes with his leader. They stared at each other for a short while until Kitarcha deflated and gave a short bow. When he spoke again, the respect he had shown earlier had returned to his posture and his voice.

"You are correct, Keeper Machal Petieross. Forgive me." He gave a short bow which the Keeper returned.

Rodney and Sheppard looked between them. Sheppard spoke to Machal but glanced at Kitarcha. "You're sure?"

_I don't believe you just asked that. We want the man to say yes, the man said yes. Why do you have to ask stupid questions like that for? Why do I keep thinking you have a brain in there?_

"Yes, I am sure." Machal turned to Rodney. "What you say is true. This place was left with us to guard until the Ancients returned. It was intended to be used again for Atlantis. If no good would come of it, then what is the use in keeping it safe. Your cause is good, your intentions are good. I believe you should be allowed to use it."

"Er… thank you." He turned to the Colonel. "Well, I think that's enough questions for now, Colonel," he said pointedly. He cast a glance at the ZPM sitting in front of him but figured that would probably be pushing his luck. He turned back to Machal, casting looks at Kitarcha. "Well, there is nothing more to do here until we return with our ZPM's. We could come back tomorrow you know if that's okay?"

Machal turned to Kitarcha and gave a shallow bow. Kitarcha retuned the bow before turning back to Rodney. "That would be agreeable, Doctor Rodney McKay."

Rodney started to pack his stuff away as he spoke. "Well, I think we should probably be getting back, don't you agree Colonel?" _I can't wait to tell Zelenka what I've found._

Sheppard was grinning. "Yes, you're _probably_ right."

Rodney rolled his eyes at the obvious baiting but did not respond, at least not out loud. _Always right, Colonel. Always._

They all trudged back to the village and made their goodbyes. The team left the village making their way back to the Stargate.

"You're unusually quiet, McKay." Sheppard said.

"Hmmm," Rodney replied as he jerked his attention back to reality and looked at Sheppard.

"I said, you're unusually quiet, McKay." He repeated, with a grin playing on his lips.

Exasperation filled his face and his tone. "We just found the equivalent of a ZPM, Colonel. I'm trying to figure out what to look at first when we get Atlantis up to full power."

"You mean you don't already have a list?" Sheppard asked, with that trademark smirk of his.

Rodney froze for a minute till he realised it was just a lucky guess. He also realised that he had waited to long to respond as Sheppard gave a low chuckle. "Oh God, you _do_ have a list don't you?"

He sighed. "Well I was hopeful about the brotherhood ZPM and figured it would be good to plan ahead. Still, we have learnt a lot of things since then so the list needs, well, re-evaluating."

They had reached the Stargate so Rodney went over to the DHD automatically and dialled Atlantis, thankful for something to distract the Colonel.

"Atlantis, this is Sheppard, sending IDC."

"Shield is down, Colonel. Come on home," the gate tech stated over the radios. _Sounded like Chuck_.

They walked through the stargate to deliver their news.

TBC.


	14. Chapter 14

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 14;**

They crossed into the gateroom automatically looking up to the balcony to find Woolsey in his usual place. "Everything went well I trust, Colonel?" He asked with his arms braced against the top of the balcony, his voice light.

The team nodded up to him in acknowledgment. Sheppard glanced at Rodney as he answered. "More than okay, we found a facility to recharge our ZPM's and permission from the Watarkins to return tomorrow and use it."

Rodney could tell Sheppard had expected to be interrupted by him but Rodney was already on his radio, already tuning them out. "Zelenka? This is McKay. Stop trying to blow up my city and answer me."

Zelenka's voice crackled in his ear, "Oh Joy, you are back," He smiled internally at the sarcasm. Externally he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, yes. You can all relax now. I am here to save you when you do something wrong. I just thought that I should let you know not to waste time on power usage today. Concentrate in other areas. We don't need to monitor usage anymore." He smirked inside, anticipation climbing as he listened to Zelenka's thoughtful pause.

"You found a ZPM!?" Zelenka's incredulous voice came over the radio.

"Oh no, we have three. That will be more than enough, considering they will be full tomorrow," Rodney said as he walked back over to Sheppard, blue eyes full of mirth making contact as he followed him through to the infirmary. "Well, I have to go get my medical check up now. May come and find you later." He clicked off his radio and smirked at Sheppard.

Sheppard chuckled as he turned to Rodney. "That was cruel, Rodney."

Rodney chuckled, "I know."

They walked into the infirmary, Rodney hopping onto the bed opposite Sheppard.

"What time is the debriefing?" Rodney asked.

"I've got to go up and report after our checks. We'll have a full debrief at eight AM tomorrow. Meet in the mess about," Sheppard consulted is watch, "Seven."

Rodney looked at his watch, "yeah, that's good. It'll give me time to get to the labs and check on my monkies and I want to get a clear idea of what I want to start with when we get back with the ZPM's. I'm still trying to get my head round it. By this time tomorrow we will have three fully charged and working ZPM's"

"Just remember that we only get to fill 'em up once a year, don't go crazy okay?"

Rodney nodded. "Where's Carson anyway."

"He won't be long."

"When does Keller get back?" He asked, trying for nonchalant.

Sheppard's smirk told him he had not succeeded. "Three days, Rodney. Why?"

He glared at him. "Just wondering, that's all. If I'm going to be manhandled by voodoo specialists then I prefer pretty female ones to hairy Scottish ones." He was about to change the subject by explaining his current plan of action to Sheppard when he got distracted by Zelenka storming into the infirmary, his face hard and his eyes narrow. "You are a small and petty man, Rodney Mckay."

"Well, if you carry on with that attitude, you may just find out exactly _how_ small and petty I can be." Rodney replied.

Zelenka took a deep breath. "Okay." He waved his hands in Rodney's face. "Tell me what you found."

Rodney glared at Zelenka, indignation clear in his voice, "Found? I _tracked down_ and through assessment and deduction I _discovered_ that the ancient facility, that we were able to enter after an agreement arranged by myself," Rodney ignored Sheppard at this point, "held technology that will enable us to recharge the ZPM's to full capacity. It was also me, I would like to take the time to point out, that convinced the natives…"

"The Watarkins," Sheppard interrupted.

"The Watarkins," Rodney continued smoothly as if he had not spoken, "to allow us to return tomorrow and recharge all three of our ZPM's. We can return once a year to refill them."

"You mean Teyla got them to agree, or maybe the Colonel here?" Zelenka said as he turned to Sheppard.

With a smirk Sheppard turned his head. "No. They turned me down. Rodney persuaded them to change their minds."

"Really?" Zelenka said his voice incredulous.

"I know." Sheppard responded, nodding his head.

"Hey!" Rodney squealed indignantly. "I'll have you know…"

"Yes, yes. Man of eloquence. Tell me about the facility." Zelenka interrupted.

"The source is underneath the cavern. The consoles are arranged around a centre piece of rock that lowers the ZPM into the source," Rodney said, his excitement already bleeding through into his words.

"They have one console that is solely to monitor temperature and another that is solely to monitor power levels which would imply stability problems with the power source. According to the other systems, the source is stable and the technology is in prime condition. There's an activation console that actually initiates the recharge and monitors the process. The ZPM has to be ejected manually when the process is complete," all the while his hands moving giving his words substance, bringing them alive.

His tone turned distracted as he mused, "The thing that worries me is that the consoles also seem to be run from the ZPM that you are charging. There is the possibility that it can somehow draw power from the source underneath but I cannot be sure and I don't know what would happen if the ZPM is completely depleted. We will have to ensure that the ZPM is never fully depleted before recharging to be on the safe side."

"So you still don't know how they are created, yes?" Zelenka asked, disappointment tinged the joy.

"Not yet," Rodney said, no bite to his distracted words, thoughts still internally thinking through the things he had learnt and seen.

Carson came over at that point to start his check up.

"I'll get back to the labs," Zelenka said as he hitched a thumb over his shoulder.

"Yes, rearrange the schedule to move those currently on power projects to other more important tasks. I'll be down shortly and we can organise a schedule of which programs we want to bring on line once we have the ZPM's installed."

Zelenka nodded, "Yes. I will get things started," he said as he turned and left.

Rodney glowered at the Carson. "How much longer you gonna be. I have important work to get back to."

"Big needles, McKay," Sheppard warned.

Rodney glanced at Carson with big, wide blue eyes. "Erm, forget I said anything. Sorry. Take as long as you like."

Carson chuckled, "Just as well, lad. I've only got the rusty ones left."

Rodney pointed at Sheppard, "He sprained his ankle and fell down a ditch."

Sheppard blinked at him in surprise, "Traitor," he whispered harshly.

McKay shrugged. "I hate big needles."

"I have enough for two, Rodney. Now just stay still and let me finish this quietly and it will go a lot quicker." Eventually, McKay's very quiet check up was complete, with only the odd glare.

"Right, I'll see you at seven in the mess, Sheppard, big needles not withstanding." He left the infirmary without a backward glance and went down to the labs. He found Zelenka hadn't wasted any time and his staff were already reorganised. They went through the systems that they knew about, organising staff and timelines to find a compromise between the most important and those that could be brought on line the quickest to give them the most systems possible in the shortest time.

They also developed a forecast program that would ascertain how much power would be used in a year with these new systems on line and allowing for maximum use during attack over the following year, using the past four years as a base for data. They would run the program again, once all systems were on to ensure that the systems could be maintained for over a year with the three ZPM's at full power.

By the time Rodney left to meet his team in the mess he was riding high. He filled his tray and joined Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon who were already seated.

"Hey guys."

"Hello Rodney," Teyla acknowledged.

"Uhm," Ronon grunted around a mouthful of food.

"Hey, buddy. How's the list going?" Sheppard said with a smirk.

Rodney was too high to play banter. He dove straight in. "We've run simulations on power usage. With everything on and allowing for full power usage during attacks we can last well over a year on three ZPM's which means we can even use the power for the odd trip back to earth. We should keep it for emergencies though, and stick to the Deadalus when we can."

"So, when you say all the systems. What systems are you talking about?" Sheppard asked.

"Well, all the ones that we have found but take too much power to leave on or even just to turn on."

"Erm, let's just pretend that I don't know which ones they are and you tell me about the interesting ones."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I waste my time including you on emails. Fine, there's the location sensors placed at the base of the city. They monitor the currents and help maintain our position. At present we only turn them on every two months and correct any movement at that time…"

"Okay, just tell me about the fun ones."

"Fun ones? I presume you mean just the ones for defence or attack, Colonel?"

"Yeah, just those ones," Sheppard responded, smirk obvious.

"Fine, we could look into running both the shield and the cloak together. Due to the amount of power it would require we haven't even bothered to figure out if it can be done before. Though that wouldn't happen till we got the systems we know about back on line though," he shook his head, dispelling that thought process.

Sticking to the things they knew he continued, "Full sensors for starters, we will also have power to use the stardrive if necessary. In addition, there is numerous medical technology that we can turn on and investigate, that could save live's."

He focused on Sheppard as he continued, "I am sorry to disappoint you Colonel but we already know most of the defensive and armoury systems. The shields, drones, cloak, however there is a chance that by turning on other systems we may find something we were unaware of. We will be able to turn on maintenance programs that will free up a lot of our workload, which I am hoping to redirect into exploring Atlantis."

He gave a small consolatory shrug, "There is a substantial part of this city still waiting to be discovered. Who knows what we will find." Rodney's face spread into a huge grin. "That's what I can't wait for. I need to do everything else first but eventually we will be in a position to get the whole city back up and running as she was when she was new. Considering the things we have found in the little we have explored, the possibilities are endless."

"Oh, yeah," Sheppard responded, words thick with sarcasm, "there was that ascension machine, then of course there was the black energy monster and lets not forget the nanites lab and the…"

Rodney interrupted him, "Stardrive, puddle jumpers, transporters, shields, cloaks, cryo-chambers…"

"Okay, we found some good things too. I'm just saying, sometimes it's more dangerous exploring Atlantis than it is other planets. Don't forget that," Sheppard warned softly.

Rodney sighed. "I'm not the one who likes to get all touchy feely with the ancient tech, Colonel. We will fix sensors and transporters before we progress into any new areas. I instigated the rule after Woodbridge got injured last month and no-one realised till he was late calling in."

Sheppard nodded in approval. They continued to eat as they talked amongst themselves.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Payment for the pain**

**Chapter 15;**

As they left the mess, Teyla pulled Rodney to one side. "Rodney, may I have a word."

"What? Oh, of course Teyla." He waited expectantly.

"Would you follow me, please?" Teyla asked quietly.

"Well, I have to get to the labs…"

"Rodney." Okay, he knew that tone. You're not supposed to argue with that tone even if it is quiet and polite. She doesn't get violent if you ignore that tone she gets disappointed and somehow that's worse.

Rodney glanced at Sheppard and Ronon for help and found them pointedly ignoring them and as they moved to pass them Sheppard leaned in and whispered with a grin, "Big needles traitor"_. _

Rodney sighed heavily. "Of course," he said as he indicated for her to lead.

Teyla led him to the mediation room.

The doors opened and Teyla walked through, stopping when she realised that he was no longer beside her. She turned round to look at him with an eyebrow raised. "Rodney?"

"Yes?"

"Would you come inside, please?"

"Erm, why did you want to bring me here?"

"Please, follow me Rodney." She walked into the gym to sit cross legged on mats lying in the middle of the floor.

_Why couldn't he learn to say no?_He always had trouble saying no to Teyla as it was, but since the planet he still couldn't lose that image. Of her pressed up against him, hand fisted in his tac vest suddenly so small and her voice so fragile. It was the first time since he met her that he felt she needed protecting, he thought it would be some time before he could deny her anything.

He followed her into the gym. "I suppose you want me to sit down there too, huh?"

"Please."

He sighed heavily again as he sat down cross legged opposite her, fiddling, finger and thumb twitching. Teyla sat patiently, waiting for him to settle.

"I bought you a present, Rodney."

His finger and thumb stopped twitching as his smile widened. "You did?"

She reached down beside her and handed him a dark blue velvet bag with gold thread weaving a scrolling pattern across its surface. Rodney reached out hesitantly. "What is this for?"

"Open it first and then I will explain."

He watched her as he tentatively drew the bag to him, opening the drawstring, looking into the bag as he reached inside. He drew out the bantos sticks she had brought in the market.

"You bought these for me? You said they were for someone special."

"They are, Rodney."

"I… I don't understand."

"I told you how my Mother died. I have carried that with me since I was eight years old."

He was tempted to ask how long that was, as none of them actually knew how old Teyla was and no-one had the guts to ask out right. Rodney decided he didn't have the guts to ask subtly either and said nothing and let her continue speaking without interruption.

"Amongst my people, when someone helps you to lift the burden you carry it is expected to pay them in return. I don't have anything that I can give you, except this. It is apt, that my mother taught me and now I will teach you, the person who helped me to remember her."

"You want to teach me to fight with Bantos sticks!" He all but screamed unbelievably. _Fragile or not, no, no, no. What on earth is she thinking!_

Teyla maintained her calm exterior as always and responded in quiet, kind words. "I know you do not like physical exertion, Rodney, and I know you find it hard to close down your mind enough to concentrate. These are training Bantos sticks. I do not expect you to put in the time to become an expert. I thought it would be nice though if I taught you the warm up moves. It does not take a lot of physical exertion and you will not need much to carry them out, just a little concentration to focus the mind. However, it would give us time together and I think that the little exercise it would give you would enable you to sleep easier without having to work yourself to the point of exhaustion."

"There's just so much to do," he said defensively, already the words lining up for a rant about doctors doing their own dirty work and not getting other people to do it for them but Teyla leaning forward and placing a hand on his arm forestalled anything.

"I believe you," she said, "but, I also think that if you slept easier then maybe you would not avoid your bed so much. When there are days that you work for avoidance sake, this will help you as you have helped me. I would also be pleased to find something we can spend time doing together."

He really, really did not want to get into how she knew that sometimes it was due to the avoidance of dreams that he worked so hard because that way just lay too many questions he would have to answer. "You… you _want_ to spend time with me?"

Teyla sighed. "Of course, Rodney, we have been team mates for four years. We eat together and we have our team nights but never just me and you. I see Ronon in here and John in here. It would be nice to spend time with you too. I cannot learn what you do, but I think you could learn what I do."

"Yeah, right? I don't think I'll ever be able to kick butt like you do. I don't think trained Ninja's can kick butt like you do."

"This is not about 'kicking butt' Rodney. This is about spending time with someone I consider my friend. This is my way of saying thank you for listening and thank you for helping me to remember my mother." She placed a hand over her heart and her eyes were suspiciously bright when she continued.

"It was painful, it is still painful. Every time I thought of my Mother it was always of that moment and over the years I taught myself not to think of her as the pain was always too much. Now that the burden has been shared I can begin to see past it and remember the other things about her and it softens the pain. I would still carry that burden if it was not for you. You listened to me, cared for me afterwards. Please, just let me say thank you the only way I can."

Although his thoughts were a little derailed by the utter wrongness of Teyla saying 'kicking butt' in her polite, clipped tones it was quickly forgotten as he listened to the rest of the words and more importantly he heard the emotion in them and was touched by them. _And really, how am I supposed to say no to that, conniving wench. _"How much time are we talking about?" He asked tentatively.

Teyla grinned wide and placed a hand on his forearm as she leaned towards him. "Only an hour. Say, twice a week," and Rodney knew he had already lost.

"And no-one else needs to know, right? The last thing I need is Colonel-thinks-he-has-a-sense-of-humour and Caveman sidekick to come looking for a laugh."

"It will be our time," she replied seriously, "They will not be welcome even if they know what it is we do." _And woe betide them of they do if that tone is anything to go by, _thought Rodney

Rodney nodded, if anyone could keep them out then it was Teyla. He couldn't believe he was agreeing to this. "Okay."

Teyla beamed and he knew he had made the right decision, just to see her smile that way. He sighed inside. Outside, he tried to respond in like and gave a smile back, it may not be as wide and beaming but it was the thought that counts. "So, when do you want to start?"

"No time like the present," Teyla said.

"I'm not dressed for it." He stated sharply. He realised that he had already been thinking that he would be able to find a way around it, given time.

"It is not about physical exertion, Rodney. If you want to you can go back and change before we start and you can dress how you want to at our next session. It will be fine for our first session for you to be dressed this way."

"Okay." He resigned himself to the situation.

Teyla rose from her current position, smooth and purposeful. Rodney struggled to his feet, already feeling inadequate in comparison. He stood tense, waiting for instruction.

Teyla walked over to the bench and picked up her bantos sticks. Rodney realised he had left his on the ground. He picked them up and put the blue velvet bag on the bench. When he turned round Teyla was waiting for him. He walked over to her and stood opposite, raising his bantos sticks in front of him at angles and waiting tensely for the impact.

She smiled, "As I said, Rodney. These are practise movements that are designed to relax you and train you in the movements for fighting. Our sticks will only touch as part of the dance. To start with, we will only move through the forms without involving them, but if you will still hold them so you are used to the weight while moving through the forms. Now, if you will just mirror my movements we will move through form after form. Concentrate on the moves, learn the moves and this will help to focus your mind and shut out stray thoughts."

He nodded in response. _Dance, right, he could do this. _They began to move, he stumbled through to start with. He concentrated on her movement and began to see the pattern in the movements, he was good at patterns. As his movements started to smooth out he saw her eyes light up and she smiled. It made him try all the more. As they moved through the first routine for the fourth time without error she brought her bantos sticks up and he hesitated.

She smiled ever patient. "I will not harm you, Rodney. The sticks will meet in a semblance of fighting but they will meet softly, as part of the dance. Now you have learnt the movements, it should not take much more for you to learn when and how the sticks will meet. Then we will slowly extend the form session by session."

"Easy for you to say."

He took the first position, raising his sticks and nodding resolutely at Teyla. She smiled serenely and they started again. She was right, it was not anything physically exerting in the running out of breath, chest of fire sort of way. His body warmed up with the movement and he could feel his muscles stretch slightly, but it was not pushed to anything near its fullest capabilities.

The gym was quiet, just the sound of their breathing with the occasional gently sound of the sticks meeting. The sound itself almost hypnotic and again he noticed the pattern. They moved through the forms he had learnt so far again and again. Suddenly she stopped and held her sticks to her sides as she gave a short bow. "Thank you, Rodney."

"What? What did I do something wrong?" He glanced at his feet and then back up to her.

"It has been an hour, Rodney." She cocked her head to one side, watching him, smiling.

"Already?" He realised the time had passed without him knowing, very rare thing for a man with an internal clock that was correct to the second. He also realised just how relaxed he was. Maybe she had something.

"Okay, when is our next session."

"Two days?"

"Okay, I'll… er… I'll see you tomorrow at the briefing." He walked over to pick up the blue velvet bag and was just about to walk through the door to leave when he remembered something. He turned round and gave an uncomfortable short bow. "Thank you."

He gestured over his shoulder with his bantos sticks and hit the door with them, making himself jump. He fumbled them against his chest, saying a short, "night," before he turned and left.

He walked to his quarters, thinking about the session. He and Teyla were close, close in that they valued each other. They would risk their lives for each other but in the four years he had never done something that was just the two of them except for drinking the tea of the Ancestors ceremony. That was once a year and although he knew she valued it, it was never discussed outside of the ceremony, and it was always a sad time.

This was different. He entered his quarters and stood inside looking at the bantos sticks in his hands. She had bought them for him and she had said they were for someone special. It made him feel warm inside to know that she felt him a friend. That he wasn't just accepted because he was part of her team, because Sheppard accepted him. It was something that occurred to him sometimes. He still wasn't sure how Ronon thought of him but now he knew that he and Teyla were friends in their own right and that meant a great deal to him.

She not only accepted him but had done this for him. To say thank you. He lay the bantos sticks reverently on his bedside cabinet, with the blue bag as a cushion for them. He glanced at them again with a small smile as he went into the bathroom and showered, getting ready for bed.

When he came back into his bedroom he sought them out again. He set the alarm for the briefing in the morning and realised he hadn't thought about ZPM's in all this time. Maybe she had something about the sleepless nights too. Although, now he would be up all night with excitement about their trip tomorrow, thinking about the things he would do when he got back.

His mind started to race again with all the possibilities. He wasn't going to sleep tonight. He might as well get up and start working now. He turned to the side to grip the blankets to pull them back and saw the bantos sticks again. He smiled as he remembered going through the forms with them, the quiet sounds broken only by the rhythmic pattern of the sticks hitting each other. He remembered Teyla's words _Spending time with someone I consider my friend._

Rodney McKay fell asleep, with a small smile on his lips and a warm feeling inside.

THE END.

_I would like to thank Barcardicider and Jayne Perry again for their Beta skills and support. I hope it is everything Barcardi wanted in her challenge. I still can't believe it went to so many chapters. I could have included the return trip to the planet, but then I would have to include the upgrades to Atlantis and then I would have had to included how they helped in their struggle and it would have turned into a life project so it ends here. _

_I hope you all enjoyed it._

_Mirth__xx  
_


End file.
